Burning Bright

[readingredhead]

I'm done with my senior thesis.

It's so weird, honestly. Because I'm not really done -- I believe in the idea that works of writing are never finished, only abandoned. But it's time for me to abandon this, and I'm ready. It's not a bad feeling, though it's different; if anything, it's a good one.

I didn't get to work too closely with Mr. Krucli on it, but I really appreciated his support throughout. He gave me the ideas and direction I needed. And (whether or not this was intentional on his part), his being my advisor has probably caused me to produce a much better paper than I would have otherwise, because I have taken this paper as a way to win his respect. If I'd had Mrs. McClure as my advisor, I don't think I would have worked at it so hard. I wouldn't have felt that same need to impress my reader. But I've wanted Mr. Krucli's respect, and to an extent I believe I have it. That makes me feel much better about myself than the simple fact that this paper is done.

I still have so many things to do today, and tomorrow. The world never stops. But sometimes, in the midst of the running around like headless chickens, good things happen. Writing this senior thesis and getting to talk it over with Mr. Krucli hasn't been torture. It hasn't even been difficult. It's been challenging, but it's also been exciting. I wouldn't mind writing critical approaches to literature. I actually enjoyed this, which is a very good thing.

Comments

[pentaverse.livejournal.com]

I had some seemingly-meaningful thoughts on "the other half go through their whole lives without ever realizing that who they are is not themselves." They decomposed when exposed to light. I don't know what their thing is or even if there is a "them." Too many to generalise about.

I'm perfectly OK with the thought I'll end up in rural Oregon growing my own food-- or the academic equivalent of that. Which is to say I could have fun being the most absentminded teacherly dude ever.

[readingredhead.livejournal.com]

In my experience, thoughts do not appreciate light. I am sure they would have seemed meaningful to me, too.

And there is nothing wrong with being absentminded teacherly dude. Nothing at all.