![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
The Big 50
Nov. 29th, 2005 09:58 pmI stand here on the edge of something big.
Right now, in another internet browser, one click will submit my novel for validation. Once the nanowrimo.org wordcount utility finds that I have indeed written over 50,000 words, I will be considered a "winner."
But it all feels so anticlimactic. It was like I wanted screaming. I wanted those little confetti poppers to go off and I wanted cheers and fireworks. Well, that was what I wanted before I got here. Now, I think I would just really like for a bunch of my friends to be here with me. You were the ones who supported me through all of this month. You're really the reason that I'm coming out alive on the other side of November. And you're the ones I'd very much like to be sharing the end of this with. For surely, at least a part of my "win" is yours, for being such perfect friends throughout the month. I know that if (when!) I finish this novel and publish it, all of your names will belong in the Acknowledgements section. So in case I haven't said it enough already -- thank you.
It feels so odd to just click and button and have this be over. This past month, novelling has just become such a part of my life that I don't know what it will be like once I don't have to meet daily word quotas. Realistically, it'll feel good...but there's always the fact that for the first week or so, it'll feel weird. Stressful or not, it was an important stage of time for me -- and now, it's almost over.
For some reason, I'm afraid to just press the button. I don't know why. I'm trying to think if there's any reason other than the fact that I don't want to do it alone. But I can't come up with any. I think there should be a group end to what is obviously a group effort.
But I think there's more than that. I don't know what it is. It's there. But it's not making itself known.
So I think this is a situation in which I have to jump in and do it.
On the other side of this journal entry, I will be a novelist.
Wish me luck!
Right now, in another internet browser, one click will submit my novel for validation. Once the nanowrimo.org wordcount utility finds that I have indeed written over 50,000 words, I will be considered a "winner."
But it all feels so anticlimactic. It was like I wanted screaming. I wanted those little confetti poppers to go off and I wanted cheers and fireworks. Well, that was what I wanted before I got here. Now, I think I would just really like for a bunch of my friends to be here with me. You were the ones who supported me through all of this month. You're really the reason that I'm coming out alive on the other side of November. And you're the ones I'd very much like to be sharing the end of this with. For surely, at least a part of my "win" is yours, for being such perfect friends throughout the month. I know that if (when!) I finish this novel and publish it, all of your names will belong in the Acknowledgements section. So in case I haven't said it enough already -- thank you.
It feels so odd to just click and button and have this be over. This past month, novelling has just become such a part of my life that I don't know what it will be like once I don't have to meet daily word quotas. Realistically, it'll feel good...but there's always the fact that for the first week or so, it'll feel weird. Stressful or not, it was an important stage of time for me -- and now, it's almost over.
For some reason, I'm afraid to just press the button. I don't know why. I'm trying to think if there's any reason other than the fact that I don't want to do it alone. But I can't come up with any. I think there should be a group end to what is obviously a group effort.
But I think there's more than that. I don't know what it is. It's there. But it's not making itself known.
So I think this is a situation in which I have to jump in and do it.
On the other side of this journal entry, I will be a novelist.
Wish me luck!
