readingredhead: (Write)
It's that time of year again...novel-writing time! This year's novel -- presently titled Chasing Ghosts, though we all know these things are subject to change -- is managing to combine lots of things I find totally fascinating (18th century London, woman writers, the French Revolution, cross-dressing, modern academia, etc.) and I am actually very excited about it, but because of the novel's structure I sort of need to flesh out at least some of what's going to happen.

The novel alternates between a present and a past timeline, as a modern PhD candidate and an armchair historian-cum-medium (as in “talks to ghosts” medium—yes, it’s that kind of story) work together to discover new information about a (totally made-up) late-eighteenth-century writer and radical intellectual figure, Dorian Bell. He lived in London from ~1780-1790, starting as a publisher’s apprentice but eventually writing essays, poems, and a novel or two, while circulating at the edges of the group that contained Mary Wollstonecraft, William Blake, Thomas Paine, etc. And as it turns out, “he” was also not actually a man, but a woman by the name of Dorothea who ran away from home in north Yorkshire and ended up spending the next ten years of her life cross-dressing in London. But this fact remains unknown to 21st century scholars…until Ellie’s dissertation advisor tells her she has no choice but to consult a medium (Ben) before submitting her finished dissertation and completing her PhD requirements. Together, Ellie and Ben slowly unearth clues to Dorian/Dorothea’s past, culminating with the discovery that she was in fact a woman.

The problem is, since Ellie and Ben will be finding out about Dorian/Dorothea’s life out of order, I need to know the entire progression of her story before I start writing if I’m going to appropriately pace the clues! I have a basic outline of what happens to her, but I haven’t made a lot of decisions yet as to background motivation or reasoning.

Now here's where you come in: some questions for my dear readers )

It's a long post so I won't make it any longer, except to mention that this is cross-posted on the NaNo forums in case you wanted to reply there instead, and to say thanks in advance for ANYTHING you have to suggest!
readingredhead: (Earth)
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I'm just gonna interpret this question as planing for when I accompany the Doctor on his zany adventures through time and space. (This will, of course, obviously happen. I am female, almost ginger, and may possibly at some point in my life return to live in London. The odds are in my favor already.)

In no particular order, and with various degrees of specificity:

1. The 1790s in England. Yes, I know this is about as far from specific as I can get, but this is probably the historical decade I find the most intriguing. This is when Jane Austen became a writer (though not a published novelist), when Blake did some of his most intense engravings, when the French Revolution took a turn towards insanity and when the world was on the brink of so many major cultural changes. I would just want to live as a part of this for a while, to get a real feel for the things that fascinate me about this decade.

2. The World Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention of 1968, which was held in Berkeley. Yes, this means there was once a conflation of Berkeley, the sixties, and SFF geeks. 1968 is the year that Anne McCaffrey's short story "Weyr Search" won the Hugo Award for best short story -- and this story is the one that was later extended into Dragonflight, the first of her Dragonriders of Pern books, and the first book that really got me into science fiction.

3. The first man on the moon, 1969. I just wonder what it must have felt like for those people who had lived in a time when no images of earth from space were readily available to see those first pictures from the Apollo mission, and to have a sudden jarring understanding of themselves as such a small part of such a small corner of the universe, but a corner that undeniably mattered.

4. Anything in which I got to meet Elizabeth I. Because she's just bound to be utterly badass. Maybe I would want to go see a Shakespeare play with her.

5. The fall of the Berlin Wall, 1989. I was technically alive at the time, but had only been so for six months.

Undoubtedly as soon as I post this I will realize some incredibly significant historical event that I'm missing, but for the moment I think this is a pretty good list. I'm obviously most invested in the first three items; the others might rotate out with my mood.
readingredhead: (Default)
I just has this odd rush of anxiety -- you know, the kind that builds up suddenly in your stomach and you're looking around you to figure out why it happened -- and I'm almost positive there was something specific that I was feeling anxious about, but the feeling vanished almost immediately and now I have no clue what it was! None at all! All I've got is this lingering back-of-the-head feeling (except it's in my stomach) that there's something I ought to be doing now that I'm not, something big that I'm missing.

Let's just hope that something big decides to expose itself before I mess something up.

In other news, I'm having issues with two classes: Shakespeare because the professor is so boring I want to die a little every time I go to his class, and Russian history because for the first time in a long time, although the prof is amazing and presents the material in an enjoyable way, I may not want to put in the effort it takes to get the A. This is not a problem in the Shakespeare class; it may be boring as hell but I got great grades on the first paper and the midterm. But for Russian history, the only grades are the midterm and final. I got an A- on the midterm, which covered much less than the final and is only worth 40% of my grade.

I understand this is nothing to worry about because 1) the lowest I will realistically get in the class is a B and 2) in the real world people get B's all the time, but I'm psycho and that's just the way these things happen for me.

Other than that, I'm stuck somewhere in creative limbo. I've been revising short stories for too long, I need to write something original. Also I need to read. I have five new books that just came in the mail, all with varying degrees of awesome, but I have so much homework-y stuff to do that I've promised myself I won't start in on them until after dinner on Sunday.

The weeks since the end of Spring Break have just been flying by...and I'm sad that the semester is ending. I don't know if I want to spend my whole summer back in marvelous socal suburbia. I've caught the Berkeley bug, but now it's too late to look into getting a job and housing to stay up here over the summer. If I'd thought about it earlier -- okay, let's be realistic, if I'd realized earlier that the things that were tying me to home were not going to be there by the time summer came around -- I could've gotten an internship or something and stayed up here. But now I'm applying to jobs back home. Menial stuff really. I'd love to get hired at the Borders just so I could work with all those books, and I'm also applying to be a library page. We'll see how that goes. Either way, I've got an excruciatingly free summer.

And yes, it's also basically too late to think about summer school classes.

I never thought I would be sitting here and wishing that I didn't have to go home for the summer. I thought I would love this place, but I don't know if I ever realized I would love it as much as (or more than) "home."
readingredhead: (Burning)
Grrr...I have a Russian history midterm tomorrow that's worth 40% of my overall grade. I haven't done the math, but I'm pretty sure that means I have to get an A on it to get an A in the class. Which, you know, isn't necessary, but would be really nice. I see no reason not to get A's in English and history classes. Now if I were being forced to take math I'd probably let myself go a little bit, but as it is, it's history. And I know it.

(For a minute though--really, whom am I kidding? Me, let myself go? Preposterous proposition.)

Anyway, I feel like I haven't studied enough because there are definitely things I don't know, and I'm just hoping they won't end up on the test--I'll be really pissed (and frankly surprised) if they do. Not worried about essays because we've got four options and only have to write two, but the IDs are worth 20% of the grade and it's just two terms we have to define, no picking and choosing.

I'm a little worried about time. Two essays, two IDs, one and a half hours. My last history midterm was the same length of time and consisted of one essay and four IDs. I don't think I'll be able to do justice to the essay topics in one and a half hours. I could totally own them with just a little more time!

In other words, my Shakespeare midterm went well. One of the EC questions was definitely from Hamlet -- Laertes to Ophelia, "Weigh what loss your honor may sustain" -- and I was instantly transported back to Krucli's class with Rob yelling out "family honor" as the answer to every question.

My plan for tonight is to get to sleep early, wake up early, and study until the test starts. Then I might skip out on my Shakespeare class (since I haven't done the reading and attendance really isn't mandatory) and just chill for the rest of the day, doing all the other homework I've been putting off. Sounds like a great idea, the more I think about it. I just don't like the idea of skipping class...
readingredhead: (Default)
Thursday (3/6):

--study for Russian history (afternoon)
--bSpace post due for English by 5pm

Friday (3/7):

--meet with Tony Bliss at 10am
--talk to admissions office about IB credit (again)

Saturday (3/8):

--study for Russian history (time TBD)

Sunday (3/9):

--assorted homework and reading
--study for Shakespeare midterm

Monday (3/10)

--short story due
--2 short story critiques due
--read Book 1 Cantos 2-6 of The Faerie Queen

Tuesday (3/11)

--Shakespeare midterm at 12:30pm
--study for Russian history midterm
--IM soccer game at 9pm
--begin re-reading King Lear

Wednesday (3/12)

--study for Russian history midterm
--have read Book 1 Cantos 7-9 of The Faerie Queen
--UGIS 39B project proposal due

Thursday (3/13)

--Russian history midterm at 11am
--have King Lear read for Shakespeare

Things that are due and when they are due:
--bSpace post (tomorrow)
--short story (Monday)
--short story critiques (Monday)
--Book 1 Cantos 2-6 of The Faerie Queen (Monday)
--UGIS 39B project proposal (Wednesday)
--King Lear (Thursday)

Things I need to do in order to study adequately for midterms:
--finish reading Russian history reader
--review Russian history IDs
--review "In the Shadow of Revolution" summaries
--listen to recorded lectures for Russian history
--finish reading "In the Shadow of Revolution"
--review Russian history essay possibilities
--review passages discussed in Shakespeare class
--review notes for both classes

Is it a bad thing that this really isn't that much to do, and yet I have very little desire to do it all? Specifically, all the work for this Russian history class. I love the subject matter but it makes me nervous that 40% of my grade depends on this midterm. (Granted in the Shakespeare class it makes me nervous that I have no idea how much of my grade depends upon this midterm, but at least for that class we have two papers in addition to the midterm and final.) Oh, and I suppose for fiction, too. I don't want to write a short story. I don't think I've found one I can fall in love with. Sucks for me.

And yet this should not be difficult. I seriously have all the time in the world to do this stuff. So why is it that things still don't get done to the last minute? I didn't think I was that kind of procrastinator, but sure enough I haven't even done my laundry in a week and a half or cleaned up my impossibly messy desk and floorspace since moving back in. I don't like it. I just also don't like the idea of doing something about it.
--re-read the end of Hamlet
readingredhead: (Burning)
--more ID terms for Russian history
--pgs. 277-364 in Russian history reader
--read chapter 11 of Russian history textbook
--re-read Danica's short story and type up critique
--re-read Sonja's short story and type up critique
--finish writing tutor application
--choose short story #2 to submit for Clarion
--edit "Cold War, Cold World"
--submit Clarion application
--pick poems to submit to Berkeley Poetry Review (max. 4)
--submit poetry to Berkeley Poetry Review
--start brainstorming Chaucer paper topics
--read Hamlet again
--Chaucer reading for Monday
--cultural history of Russia timeline
--read Elizabeth's short story

I guess this means I got things done today.  I spent a few hours studying Russian history this morning with a woman from my class and got some stuff done, though now I've also got a lot more things to do.  We decided we'd go through the IDs early and we're doing a lot of preparation for things like the essays.  I'm meeting with her again Wednesday morning and we'll see how it goes from there.

Major list cross-off is that I finally figured what story I'm going to submit for Clarion along with "Fire and Ice."  Of course it's the one I was so certain I was least likely to send, but after I re-read "Cold War, Cold World" for the first time in I'm not sure how long, I realized that I like it.  It's rough in places but it's the easiest to patch over the course of the next week.  I can tell you a billion things that are wrong with it but hopefully people will get too caught up in the story to really care.  (Let's just say I'm glad I can't take this into my fiction class to get workshopped -- they'd rip it into small, predictable pieces.)

I've (of course and as usual) got other things to do.  I'm halfway through Hamlet again and it makes me think of Mr. Krucli.  I sent him an e-mail the other day to let him know how helpful his class has been for me.  Seriously, he's the reason why I'm making it through my Shakespeare class this semester.  Or at least one of the reasons.

I leave you on this note: A Knight's Tale (the movie) is so much funnier when you've read Chaucer.

Okay so I lied and I'm not needing you.  I need a better title for "Cold War, Cold World" and also anyone who feels they have enough time to read it between now and Tuesday to give me suggestions on what to fix should e-mail / comment / call so that I can send you the newest copy.  That's all.
readingredhead: (Default)
So I'm annoyed right now because I have two papers due within the next two weeks and I don't want to write either of them. Worse than that -- they're English papers, and I don't want to write them.

Maybe if I had a decent idea for what I was going to write them about, it wouldn't be such a bad deal, but as it is I've got a paper due Friday and a paper due a week from Tuesday and there is no subject that's really catching my fancy for either of them.

Of course, there are other things that I can do, and probably I'll do them, since it's nice to get things done. Probably I'll read ahead for Shakespeare or for Russian. But reading ahead, while great, doesn't get my papers written for me.

(I've noticed lately that I'm a very complaining person. I need to whine before I can get something done. Maybe that's not completely true, but I do it anyway. Today I called my dad because I was bothered that I had to write the papers, and I realized that literally the only thing I wanted to talk to him about was my own complaining. I'm pathetic, huh?)
readingredhead: (Talk)
Well, I'm writing this from within my Shakespeare class, which should say something about how much it's keeping my attention. At first glance, I thought that the professor would be a pretty interesting guy. At first glance, he vaguely reminded me of Mr. McClure -- obviously a good thing. But this second real lecture has been so uninformative that I'm rather annoyed. Especially because Shakespeare is so great and it shouldn't be butchered. Not that it's being butchered yet, but still...I think it could be a lot better. I thought that it was going to be a lot better. Oh well, I'm not dropping the class -- it's what I need for the English major, and while he's no Goldsmith, he at least speaks in occasionally understood English. I'll deal because I have to.

Vikram Chandra, my creative writing teacher, is growing on me a bit. At first I didn't really like him because he didn't seem very personal, the total opposite of his wife, who was my teacher last semester. But now I know he's at least ridiculously smart, even if not fully personable still. I think things will go okay in that class, too, though I'm not quite comfortable with it all yet.

Russian history is awesome. The professor is a really great lecturer, provided that you're close enough to the front of he room to hear him. And it helps that Russia is just that awesome and interesting. There's a freakish amount of reading -- an 800 page reader, plus two textbooks and two novels -- but I know I'll be able to get it done.

My early English class is actually a lot better than I'd thought it would be. Chaucer's not at all hard to read, and my GSI is the same one I had for English last semester, and she likes me and I suppose I like her as well. Prof. Adelman is interesting so far...

The seminar's turing out well...I haven't really done much with it yet, but I'm looking forward to it still. We get to see a lot of stuff that's in the archives at the Bancroft library, and we have good access to the collections. They've got the first four Shakespeare folios!

...really, I'm just bored bored bored of this class, but I need to tell myself it's necessary, and if nothing else, by the end of the semester, I'll have read a lot more Shakespeare plays.
readingredhead: (Light)
Well. Right now I should be studying for either History or English (probably history, seeing as how my final is tomorrow) but I really have no drive or desire to do so. I'm on campus because I was planning on going to my English professor's office hours, but I came too early because I got the wrong time, so I'm sitting in the library and trying to forget about school.

I'm really not too worried, and I don't need to be. But there's some work I need to do, some things I want to figure out, before the history final. I don't want to be learning things the day of -- that just seems too last-minute to me, even though considering that my final isn't until 5pm I've got a lot of time in which to study "the day of."

Right now, my plan is to write essay outlines for each of the six (yes, six) essays I may potentially be required to write tomorrow. I'll only have to write two of them, but I still think that's two too many. I've got a good grade in the class but if I want a solid A in the class I need a solid A on the final. I'm pretty sure I can do it, but still...I think the problem is that I'm used to going into the final with a cushion. I'm used to thinking, "Well, it doesn't really matter because I only need to get a C on this to keep my A in the class." Also, here an A- is different from an A in terms of reporting GPA, and therefore I see no reason why I should be getting A-'s. I think I can get a 4.0 here just like I could at Mission.

So, plan for the rest of the day:
1. Study English while still in the library
2. Go to Goldsmith's office hours at 2pm and talk with him until I have no excuse to be talking with him any more
3. Pick up stuff from PE locker and return tae kwon do uniform
4. Return to Clark Kerr and begin writing history essay outlines
5. Eat dinner
6. Get dressed up pretty and go see The Nutcracker with Rebecca
7. Come back to Clark Kerr and fall asleep listening to my history lectures on podcast.

And still, that doesn't seem like I'm studying enough. Oh well.

In a final bit of news, today was actually my last day at the NaNo headquarters. The guys there are so awesome -- I know I'll be going back to help them with whatever it is they may need, provided I have the time. It really depends on how next semester turns out, but I'd love to help them with Script Frenzy. Mostly because how often do you find people who are really that cool? Not often enough.

Okay. So. Now I'm going to go do something. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
readingredhead: (Pants)
Oh goodness. The number of things I have to say. So many things. Too many for me to adequately get down in the next five minutes, which is the amount of time I'm allowing myself before I make myself start in on the homework.

1. I am happy NaNoWriMo's over, but at the same time disappointed. I always tell myself that I won't stop writing when the month stops, and then I always do stop writing when the month stops. I've told myself that this time will be different, but so far I haven't written anything since November 29th, and that bothers me. I don't want to fall out of love with another story.

2. I turned in that history essay I was complaining about and I get it back graded this Monday, so we'll see how much I needed to complain.

3. I turn in my paper on Pride and Prejudice Friday, and it's pretty glorious. I showed it to my professor, because I wanted his approval of it -- it was the first paper I'd shown him, the first time he's read my writing. The first words out of his mouth were, "You write very nicely!" in an amused, happy tone. He read the first part of my paper and talked it over with me and it was a great experience. He was gratified that I had taken a concept he had brought up in lecture and used it as the framework of my argument, but in a completely different manner than he had discussed it in class. He enjoyed the way that the draft flowed -- he found it hard to believe I'd been through so much revision of it, since usually revision makes papers choppy and disjointed. There was one phrase that he really liked, and he actually laughed, and congratulated me for making him laugh! So that was good.

4. Sadly, today was my last English lecture of the semester. I know I'll miss Goldsmith terribly, but seeing as how my plan is to stalk him throughout the rest of my career here at Berkeley, I know we'll be seeing more of each other soon enough. Just not next semester...

5. The thumb and pinky on my left hand have been aching since last night. I know why -- they're the only keys I use for the spacebar and shift keys -- but I'm kinda worried about it...like, it actually hurt enough last night to discourage me from typing. And it didn't get better overnight like I'd hoped. It's better now but this morning it was painful, too.

6. The history class that I really wanted to get into filled up before I could register for it, so I'm on the wait list. This wouldn't annoy me so much if it weren't for the fact that, had my IB transcript been received by the school, I could have had my registration two days ago, when there were still 13 seats left in the class. I think it's all Dr. Chris's fault. Curse that man.

7. I'm re-watching the West Wing with Rebecca and remembering how much I love it. Also I'm realizing that Josh Lyman is another fictional character crush for me, which is pathetic because he's a ridiculous guy and not nearly as good looking as Sam. And yet I like him much more.

8. I'm excited because this Friday night Rebecca and I are going into San Francisco and having dinner with her aunt and going to Borders. Yes, folks, this is my idea of a night out on the town. And I know it will be awesome. I love hanging out with Rebecca, no matter what we do together.

9. I think I need to re-read Jane Eyre, or at least the good parts, fairly soon. I also think I need Krucli to lecture me about it again because that was probably my favorite part of all of last year. (Yes, I am a geek. You knew this already.)

10. I had my tae kwon do final on Tuesday and I'm pretty positive I passed the class. Like, I had better have passed the class. I did well enough. I'm considering taking the promotional test, to get the next belt up. I'll probably do it; my only thing against it is that it's early this Saturday morning and that means I can't stay out too late on my awesome book-buying girls' night out in the city.

And I think that's it because I really have to get something done before I go off to a club meeting, otherwise I will feel like I am getting absolutely nothing done. Period. Which is a sucky feeling.

Stillness.

Nov. 19th, 2007 10:50 pm
readingredhead: (Default)
Still procrastinating the history essay. Still want to throw things -- particularly breakable things -- at anything that might happen to break them. Still and English major above all else. Still madly in love with history despite this. Still not wanting to write the paper.
readingredhead: (Default)
I am sick of not wanting to write my history paper.  It's disgusting how much I don't even want to look at it.  By the time I get to Pride and Prejudice I'll probably be ready to cry out in relief.

The problem is that I'm writing the history paper about literary sources -- poems -- and so I want to analyze them as literary sources.  Except it's a history class and a history paper so I need to analyze them as histocial sources, and it's killing me because I don't think I can do that in a decent enough way.  I've been putting off this paper all day, and before that I had been putting it off all afternoon.  I've been sitting in the library for nearly two hours trying to figure out what I'm writing about, and each time I think I figure something out I remember that I hate it.

This isn't exactly productive, either.  Of course it's not.  I don't want to be productive.  I want to be at home for the weekend already!

But I need to write the paper because it's due in a week.

And I wouldn't be putting nearly so much effort into this if it weren't for the fact that I'm afraid I'll let my GSI down.

I hate this.
readingredhead: (Stars)
While in the process of procrastinating because I really don't want to write my history paper, I stumbled again across my senior thesis. Seeing as how I was procrastinating, I read it.

Honestly, I was very gratified.  It read like something professional -- like an essay of literary criticism fit to reside in any of the compilations of literary criticism that I've been reading through lately. Of course this is just my biased opinion, and obviously it's probably exaggerated, but the uniqueness of the approach still has me giggling with excitement nearly a year after its initial conception.

The craft of it impressed me as well.  Usually when I re-read things I've written in the past I tend to discredit my former style of writing as childish or immature, but that hasn't happened yet with the senior thesis!  I still feel like it's well-written and deserving of respect.  More than that, it's well-argued, referencing just enough passages that the reader would probably believe what I have to say.  I looked back at it and thought, "Gee, why can't I just whip out a history paper that looks like that?"

And then I remembered exactly how long it took me to write that marvelous masterpiece of an essay, and how engaged in the subject I was, and how many revisions it went through, and I said to myself, "That's why I can't just whip out a history paper that looks like that."

The idea is a little depressing, especially since I'm meeting with my history GSI to talk about the paper tomorrow and I don't really have much to show her, but at the same time the gratification of knowing that I'm still in love with my senior thesis is helping me to balance these things out.  Whaddaya know -- IB was good for something after all.  I know that in the future I'm certainly planning to make further inquiries into the literary criticism of dystopian literature in a historical context, because that's what moves me.  

Just like I'm reading through a couple books of Jane Austen criticism in order to write a simple paper on Pride and Prejudice.  It's so refreshing to have such a love for a subject that even the research and the work is something worth it.  The only problem I have is that at some point I'll have to pick an area of English to specialize in, and I'll be torn between the Romantics and the Dystopians!  Maybe it's Professor Goldsmith's fault, but at the moment I'm leaning to the Romantics, especially if it means I get to read more of Austen and learn about the critical tradition in her works.  Besides, I can always wrangle the Dystopians into the focus of my history major, which looks like twentieth century western history at the moment, from the Great War to the Cold War.

And then there's always the chance that four years from now I'll have graduated with a degree in Women's Studies and be starting med school -- at least, my father would remind me of this if I mentioned how set I feel I am in the paths I want to take.  After all, he went into Berkeley as a lawyer and came out as a teacher.  But somehow I don't see myself undergoing the same kind of transformation.  I know very well what I want to do with my life, and though the specifics might change, they also might not.  And that's not exactly a problem.

This has turned into an oddly retrospective entry for something that was initially intended as further procrastination, but I think I like it that way.  I've got an odd mixture of Pride and Prejudice and Fahrenheit 451 running around in my head right now...maybe I should follow it.
readingredhead: (Default)

So, things I need to do in some kind of order--

1. Read the history chapter on WWI
2. Re-read the history sources
3. Write an essay outline on the history sources
4. Look for critical literature about the function of letters and writing in Pride and Prejudice
5. Re-read passages in Pride and Prejudice that discuss the function of letters and writing
6. Look for critical literature on whether Pride and Prejudice has a happy ending
7. Construct an essay outline for English
8. Memorize how to count to ten in Korean
9. Write 2,500 words
10. Sleep

Lather, rinse, and repeat?

readingredhead: (Rain)
I write this to you in some of the last hours of sanity I’ve got left. National Novel Writing Month begins tomorrow, and while the crazy probably won’t set in right away, I’ve not doubt that it will begin to sneak in and by the end of the month I’ll be the usual deranged writer who needs just a few more words to meet my goal. As usual, I’m excited. This is my third year participating, and I’m shooting for 70,000 words. I wrote 50k my first year and 60k last year, so I’m trying to maintain the progression.
 
The NaNoWriMo internship is going pretty well, although it’s obviously a bit hectic as we go into November.  The work isn’t difficult and the people are really great to be around. In the middle of November they’re putting on a Write-a-Thon where participants who’ve raised enough money get to go and write together for a night. Thanks to everyone who donated money to me, I’ve got myself a spot at the Write-a-Thon and I’m really looking forward to it. It should be a great way to meet some other Bay Area wrimos.
 
School is actually going really well. I wrote my first short story for my creative writing class as well as my first college papers for English and History. I also finished up with midterms, and while I have a few more essays due, there are no big in-class assessments left until finals in December. I’ve done really well so far, and as far as I know I’ve got A’s in all of my classes…except for tae kwon do, where I would have a B+ if I was taking it for a letter grade instead of as a pass/fail course. I’m only doing it for fun, anyway, so I figure it’s not a problem.
 
Between school, work, and writing, November’s going to be busy, and probably difficult. But then again, it always has been. And I don’t think I would want it any other way. If you don’t hear from me during November, it’s because I’m busy balancing all of this, but feel free to encourage me periodically—I’m sure I’ll need it.
 
Thanks to all of you in advance for the support I know you’ll provide during the upcoming month. If you ever want to know how I’m doing with my wordcount, you can find my profile at http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/81350.
 
I hope life’s going well for the rest of you, and it’s still not too late for you to join me in the insanity this November!
readingredhead: (Stars)

Well, it’s been a busy first few weeks of school, but at the end of week three of classes, I’ve got enough time to sit back, take a deep breath, and write an actual update.

 

I really enjoy all of my classes.  I’m taking classes in English, history, creative writing, tae kwon do (for fun!) and a seminar on language and technology.

 

I think my favorite teacher is my professor for English 45B (a survey course in English literature from roughly 1750-1900, I think).  Professor Goldsmith has managed to turn books I don’t usually like (most recently Gulliver’s Travels) into treasure troves of interesting facts, and the questions he poses in relation to the text always open up avenues of thought that I never would have considered on my own.  He’s also really personable—I went to his office hours today and there were seven or eight students sitting in his office discussing things with him in a really great atmosphere.  It was like a miniature discussion section with the teacher!  There were even a few kids sitting on the floor, because he didn’t have enough chairs.  I don’t like my discussion section leader for that class nearly as much as I like Goldsmith, but he’s so amazing that it makes up for it.  I’m especially looking forward to reading Pride and Prejudice in this class—I can’t wait to hear his interpretations of the text.

 

History 5 (European history from 1300-present) probably ties with Creative Writing for the second place class.  I don’t like Professor Laqueur as much as I like Goldsmith, but my Graduate Student Instructor (GSI) for my history discussion section is very nice, which makes up for it.  And Laqueur is starting to grow on me—he began his lecture about the Reformation by taking a printed copy of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses and physically nailing them to the door of our lecture hall, saying, “It’s not Wittenberg church, but I suppose it will have to do.”  His first few lectures seemed scattered, but the most recent ones (on the Reformation) were much better organized.  He’s beginning to live up to the high standards I have for history lecturers—I blame Mr. Koger and Mr. Vargish for this.  Also thanks to them, most of the actual facts I’m learning are review, leaving me room to delve deeper into the interpretations and “big picture” ideas.

 

English 43A, an intro to writing short fiction, is going pretty well.  At first I was slightly worried by the teacher’s emphasis on writing “literary fiction,” because her first definition of lit fic specifically excluded science fiction and fantasy, my two favorite genres.  But she clarified that literary fiction is simply fiction which focuses on character rather than plot development, which I interpret to mean that I can write fantasy and sci-fi as long as the characters are believable.  I love writers’ workshops, so naturally this class is a bit of an oasis.  The other writers don’t seem to have as much to say yet, but I’m sure that as we get along with writing and workshopping our writing, we’ll grow into a more cohesive, interactive group.  I think there are only 15 or 16 kids in the class, as opposed to my English and History lectures of 200-300.

 

The freshman seminar I’m in is about the same size as the creative writing class, and I like it more than I thought I would.  The focus is on language and technology—how each one influences the other, what changes occur, and whether these are positive or negative developments.  Mostly we’re focusing on modern technology such as the internet, instant messaging, texting, etc. but we’re starting out with an overview of old technology.  In this vein, we spent yesterday’s class at the Bancroft Library, being taught by a friend of the professor’s about old printmaking technology.  The library owns an 1800s printing press, as well as the largest collection of antique documents in any public university (I think).  It turns out they even offer a class in printmaking through the history department.  Students spend half of class learning about the history of printing, and the other half learning how to use the press itself.  They’re graded on their ability to have 35 copies of the text for that semester properly printed, bound, and on the teacher’s desk by the end of the last day of class.  I’m really intrigued by the idea, and I’m considering taking the class next semester, assuming it’s being offered.  Also, I just learned that the father of my main character in my story for November is a printer, and therefore this information is very pertinent!

 

Tae kwon do is basically a part of my schedule because I thought I might need the exercise, but it’s still very interesting.  I’m certainly sore a lot of the time—I suppose this means I’m getting exercise!  Class meets Tuesday and Thursday mornings for an hour, but somehow that’s enough to leave me aching by the next day.  At the moment, my muscles are protesting against the sit-ups and push-ups I did as part of warm-up yesterday.

 

While classes and homework take up a lot of time, I’ve also been spending six or seven hours a week for the past two weeks interning for the Office of Letters and Light, the non-profit corporation responsible for putting on National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).  My job description is pretty broad—I do everything from getting together contact lists for mailings to giving opinions about t-shirt and poster design to moving boxes!  My actual job title is “editorial intern,” which means I’m responsible for looking over any press releases, online content, printed flyers, etc.  Also as of today I’ve been made the official Press Liaison, which entails directing journalists to the people in their area who they can interview about NaNoWriMo, providing factual information in the form of press releases, and distributing these press releases to papers who might be interested in writing about the event.  It’s an unpaid internship, but I don’t think there could be a better job.  It’s completely casual and the atmosphere is really friendly—everyone’s on a first name basis, and even though I’ve only been working there for two weeks, my opinion matters just as much as everyone else’s when it comes to basic decisions (such as the t-shirt and poster design, which, for the record, will look awesome).  If you’re dying to know more about NaNoWriMo, check out www.nanowrimo.org for information.  If you were interested in looking me up, my username is Reading Redhead.

 

I’m also getting involved in extracurriculars here at Berkeley, mostly through the scholarships I’ve received.  The Regents’ and Chancellor’s Scholarship Association (RCSA) is really active, as is the Alumni Scholarship Association (ASA).  RCSA puts on a lot of programs for current scholars, while ASA does a lot of outreach events.  I’m planning to get involved with the Academic committee on RCSA, and I’m already involved with ASA’s Outreach and Alumni Relations committees.  I really like the portion of Outreach committee I’m getting to work on. It’s called “I Can at Cal” (usually abbreviated ICC), and it’s all about reaching out to underprivileged and minority students who might need extra help through the admissions process.  I wasn’t planning on being a part of this committee at all, but the director was so passionate about it that I wound up attending the first meeting, and I was hooked.

 

I’m participating in a non-scholarship club, too: the English Undergraduate Association (EUA).  Their meetings are really laid back and generally involve a lot of English majors sitting around in the English lounge and gossiping about books, teachers, classes, and everything else remotely affiliated with the English language.  I went to the first meeting last week and met some really great people.  It’ll be especially helpful when it comes to choosing classes for next semester, because all of the upperclassmen are ready to give advice about which teachers to avoid and which to take.

 

And don’t think I don’t have friends or a social life!  I’ve gotten to know a bunch of people in my classes and clubs, and though I might not be out partying every night, I also haven’t had to wake up regretting anything yet!  My roommate and I are getting along really well; she also writes, and I’ve talked her into doing NaNoWriMo with me this November.  I love being able to talk to her about writing and reading (we both have really similar tastes), but even just hanging out with Rebecca is fun.  The other night we watched “When Harry Met Sally” together on her computer!

 

In other words—I’m having a great time here.  Berkeley is most of the things I’d hoped it would be, and then some.  Adjusting hasn’t been too hard—I am eating, and doing my laundry on a regular basis, something that other kids here don’t seem to get the hang of.  I’ve got a lot of homework, especially because most of my classes require extensive reading and writing, but it’s not overwhelming yet.  There is just so much I’m looking forward to...

readingredhead: (Pants)
Things I will probably/hopefully/really ought to do today:

--laundry
--read Part 4 of Gulliver's travels
--read Chapter 13 for History
--read at least one of the primary source docs for History
--write something, even if it has nothing to do with the creative writing exercise I'm supposed to have done by Sunday
--write in my journal for my language & tech seminar
--finish labeling map for map quiz
--breathe
--eat a large and unrushed meal
--take a nap
--write more real letters to people

I hope I don't seem too stressed to everyone. Really, I'm doing well. And I don't have more club meetings until...Tuesday, I think. That should be a good thing.

I'll probably post more about my life tomorrow morning before breakfast...they don't start serving on weekends until 10:30! And of course I wake up before that so this gives me something to do.
readingredhead: (Default)
This is (once again) just a quick update to let you know I'm still alive and doing well.  I think this weekend I'll have the time to sit down and relate (in a rather impressionistic way, no doubt) the salient facts regarding my first two weeks of classes.  As it is, I'm so busy with homework, clubs, and now my internship.  (I'm actually missing two club meetings just to type this!)

The basic story is: Rick was here this past weekend, and it was fun to hang out with him, and I miss him now he's gone, bt on the other hand, it's nice to be able to sit back and power through homework without worrying that I should be spending time with him instead.  My classes are going well -- I'm beginning to believe what "they" all tell you about taking a lighter courseload as a first semester freshman.

I had my first day of work this morning and it was pretty normal.  NaNoWriMo got a grant from some Bay Area organization to expand their Young Writers' Program, so I went and looked up schools and libraries in the Bay Area that might want to sponsor/support YWP.

My classes are going very well, and I'm beginning to feel like they all overlap.  I'm reading my history books like novels and my books for English like history texts (which is probably not the best thing, but at least it's giving me fluency in both and the ability to connect art to history).  Same sort of connection between Creative Writing and English.  And then there's this big three-way melding of English, CW, and my Language and Technology seminar.  Basically everything in my schedule entertwines with something else.

I'm slightly sore from Tae Kwon Do, but I'm sure that's natural.  I think I'm the least flexible girl in the class.  There are three guys in the class of thirty, and I'm more flexible than one of them.  I tie the other, but the third guy can do the splits.  Eep!

I really should get going now because I have to find a portion of Gulliver's Travels that I actually like and write a commentary on it for tomorrow.

Oh!  Wait!  A note to people who have been leaving comments/posts that require my response: I really will get there!  I obsessively read my friends page when I have time and comment on anything that seems necessary.  As for comments people have made that I need to respond to, I save them in my inbox and mark them as unread.  So I really will get around to them when I have the time!
readingredhead: (Talk)
Yesterday was my last real day of high school, and I don't know what to do.

Unlike most people, I've never taken  too well to summers.  I mean, I like them because they give me free time to do things I want to do rather than things I have to do.  But they also make me feel undefined.  I've always defined myself to a large extent by school.  I'm a student, I'm a learner, I'm a pupil.  I go to Del Cerro, I go to La Paz, I go to Mission.  But the transitions from one to another aren't always smooth.  I'm reminded of something from Beverly Cleary's book called Ramona Quimby, Age Eight.  The main character didn't liked it when people asked her what grade she was in during the summer months, because she felt like she couldn't give the right answer.  She wasn't in second grade -- she'd already finished with that -- but she wasn't in third grade -- it was still off in her future.

That feeling of gradelessness, of a lack of definition, is what is starting to set in already, and it's one of the things I don't like.

But back to Friday.  The hardest part was without a doubt the fact that I had to leave my teachers.  I'm not worried about leaving my friends.  I have come to understand over the past few years that friendships that are meant to be will last.  This doesn't mean that they won't require time and effort...but if you want it to happen, then you will put the time and effort into it, and it will.  However, the same can't really be said of the teachers I know.  Sure, I'll come back to visit them, but it will be a return as an outsider.  I will never again be their student in truth, though I will always feel like it in my heart.

And it feels like there are things they could have still taught me, things that I need to learn from them, but that I never will, because now I'm gone.  When I see my favorite teachers again, it will be through a new lens, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that.  And it's not just the teachers I've had this year, like Fukuda, Koger, and Krucli -- the realization is there when I thnk of teachers I've had in past years, like the McClures or Vargish or skinny Moore, who will never again be just a few classrooms away.  In the past I've never really left the teachers I've loved.  Now, I have to.

And part of me knows that I have to, part of me understands that it's a part of my personal journey, part of me knows that there really isn't anything else left for them to teach.  On a basic level, I can comprehend that there is something bigger than Mission Viejo High School calling to me, and that it is a call I will need to answer.  The things I have learned along the way will be used to help me through the road of trials that lies ahead.  I know that by holding on to these teachers, and by feeling that there is still something they have to teach me, I am refusing the call.  I know that this must stop if I am to grow up and become my own person.

But I also know that the journey will change me, and I'm worried that once I cross the return threshold and come back to see them in a few months or a year, everything will have changed and they will no longer mean to me what they once did.  I'm afraid that their significance will diminish with distance, and I desperately don't want that to happen, because they have shaped my life so greatly and I don't know how I could continue to be the person that I am if I forgot them.  

So I won't forget them.  

I won't forget Mr. Koger's crazy stories about the time his friends backpacked through Europe, or his guitar skills, or his flattery, or the way it feels to hug him.  

I won't forget Mr. Krucli's ability to let us teach ourselves and to honestly and openly discuss literature with us as though we were his equals in age and knowledge, nor will I forget his smile or his odd anecdotes or his tendency to form personal relationships with his students.  

I won't forgeth Mr. Fukuda's "mkays," or the way he always hassled me about my calculator, or the way that he seemed genuinely proud of everything his students managed to do right.  

I won't forget Mr. Vargish's ability to make history come alive, or his trademark sayings, or his genuine affection for me and that one hug I got from him, or the way he teared up at the end of Casablanca.  

I won't forget Mrs. McClure's unwavering support for all of my English efforts, or the way she's been a part of my life since freshman year, or her uncanny ability to draw me into a conversation that will last much longer than it needs to.  

I won't forget Mr. McClure's laughter, or his recitation of poetry, or his impossible style of teaching that nonetheless brought out the best in all of his students and helped them to never fear English again.  

I won't forget Mr. Mark Moore, for his ridiculous school spirit, or for acting like everyone's best great-uncle, or for being genuinely excited about the math that he taught, even if others didn't see it.  

I can't forget them all, because I am them all.  They are as much a part of me as my friends and my family; to borrow a phrase from Julie E. Czerneda, they too are my heart-kin.  Forgetting them?  Why, that would be impossible.
readingredhead: (Default)
If I study any more, my head will *pop* -- just like that -- and I won't be able to take the test tomrrow. This being the case, I'm going to watch X-Files, and forget about things as puny as the existence of Calculus and history.

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