UCLA, here we come!

[readingredhead]

Well, this is it -- in an hour and a half I'll be on a bus bound for the UCLA MUN conference.

Most of my life has been just plain hectic for the last week; if I remembered specific details I'd relate them here, but as it is I don't think I remember much more than a long blur of school, homework caffeine, and slight exhilaration coupled with foreboding.

I think Claire and I are really prepared for this conference, so that's not worrying me.

But the other night I had this horrible dream. It was about my novel for nano. I was writing and writing and writing, but I kept being distracted as people came up to me and scoffed at what I was doing. "You can't, you won't, there's no way," these voices kept saying. Then I looked up at the calendar and saw that it was November 30th -- "judgment day" for this particular contest. To my horror, I looked at my computer screen, and saw that I had 15,000 words -- less than a third of the required number to "win" the contest.

Now, I woke up and told myself I'd be okay, that I could really get through this. I believed it, for a few days. But now...I'm not sure. Yesterday was the first day this month when I didn't reach my daily quota. Now I'm behind for today. And this whole weekend will be spent MUNing -- that doesn't leave me too much time in which to write a novel. I'll try -- I'll stay up late, I'll write if committee gets boring -- but it will be difficult.

And I don't like things that are difficult when they shouldn't be. Writing is supposed to be my thing -- it's supposed to be easy. I'm supposed to be able to just sit down and write and the words will flow and never feel awkward. And maybe they do. But sometimes they don't and that's hard on me. I imagine it would be like what Einstein would feel if he came across a math problem he just couldn't solve. That's me with not being able to do English-related stuff.

And now I'm really complaining for no apparent reason, so I'll shut up. Hope you guys all have great weekends!

Comments

[pippins-smile.livejournal.com]

The feeling happens to the best of us, and I know you're definitely one of the best. =] Don't get discouraged; after all, you're lightyears ahead of me in writing... and yes, the pun was completely intentional as well as idiotic. Hehe.

Have fun at the conference, or if you read this afterward, I hope you did have fun. lol

[actress4jesus.livejournal.com]

Sweetheart, I know what you are going through. Hope is all you need, hope and faith. You are an excellent writer and a beautiful person full of perserverance. Good luck to you.

[one123581321.livejournal.com]

No worries, you don't need them.
yes, write on nano, but don't think "i gotta write" think "i want to write"
"i want to find out what happens next" not "i gotta come up with something good"
there's somewhat of a saying, that goes something like: every story until the end of time has already been written, each story is only looking for the right person to reveal itself to. (ok, maybe a took several sayings and made my own.. but w/e)

don't worry, the story is there, it's like reading a novel, not writing it,
like i said, think: "what's going to happen next?" not "what can i do to make my sotry interesting?"

i know.. words of wisdom from the guy who can't write enything more than one-liners and has almost 0 legibility...
-C

[readingredhead.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks for the encouragement! I might need it...okay, I really do need it. But it works. And whether or not you think you can write, I trust your judgment!

[one123581321.livejournal.com]

Your welcome, anything to help. :)