my fingers hurt from typing and my hands do too

I am sick of not wanting to write my history paper.  It's disgusting how much I don't even want to look at it.  By the time I get to Pride and Prejudice I'll probably be ready to cry out in relief.

The problem is that I'm writing the history paper about literary sources -- poems -- and so I want to analyze them as literary sources.  Except it's a history class and a history paper so I need to analyze them as histocial sources, and it's killing me because I don't think I can do that in a decent enough way.  I've been putting off this paper all day, and before that I had been putting it off all afternoon.  I've been sitting in the library for nearly two hours trying to figure out what I'm writing about, and each time I think I figure something out I remember that I hate it.

This isn't exactly productive, either.  Of course it's not.  I don't want to be productive.  I want to be at home for the weekend already!

But I need to write the paper because it's due in a week.

And I wouldn't be putting nearly so much effort into this if it weren't for the fact that I'm afraid I'll let my GSI down.

I hate this.

Stillness.

Still procrastinating the history essay. Still want to throw things -- particularly breakable things -- at anything that might happen to break them. Still and English major above all else. Still madly in love with history despite this. Still not wanting to write the paper.