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Jun. 16th, 2006 01:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
readingredheadHm...for some reason my eyes hurt. I don't know why; I just don't feel like keeping them open. So I'm sitting here in the MUN room and listening to all of the signs of lie in the background, combined with the sound of my fingers on the keyboard. It's interesting to figure out what you can sense with your eyes closed. As I sit typing this, I feel at once a part of and yet outside of at least five different conversations that are going on right now. There's the group watching the World Cup in the background, Shashank and Kevin playing chess, Casey and Alex talking about who knows what, Evan Foreman, Mr. Trevino trying to control it all...
Somehow, with my eyes closed, it seems a lot more interesting in here. When I open my eyes I'm subjected to the reality of everything. Conversations become clearer, more intrusive, tackling my consciousness and destroying my drive to write. With my eyes closed, I wasn't nearly as bothered by the world.
This, I think, is why I type: because I can't handwrite with my eyes shut, but typing, at home on my on computer, I don't have to have my eyes. Taking away one sense... I don't know if it really heightens all of the other senses, but I do know that for me it's a worthwhile experience.
And right now I am procrastinating, but I decided a long time ago that as long as I'm writing, I'm not procrastinating as much as I could be. Who knows when thought will come up that I initially find trivial but that later on becomes something important?
Which reminds me of something that I was thinking of yesterday. I want to write a story called "Happy Endings." One major character would be a man who writes stories prolifically but doesn't know how to make them end, and so he abandons them and starts new ones. He's never finished a story; he writes only beginnings. So he puts out an ad for someone willing to write the endings for his stories... I don't know what kind of story that would turn into but at the same time it would be interesting no matter what it evolved into. I want it to be pseudo-fantasy, I think, or at least not completely real...but who can say what is completely real and what isn't?
Changing topics slightly: I think that I'm feeling pretty good about my short story for Polaris. I had a bit of a hard time at it, but the story's now at slightly above 3000 words. I think that the rest of it will be a bit easier than the beginning. Granted, whether or not this is the case is a bit of a sketchy thing -- I won't be able to really tell until I'm done.
But I am fairly confident that I will be able to finish it, at least, and that's always a good thing. Not only do I think I'll finish it, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to finish it well. Then again (once again) I won't know until it's over.
In my writing I am inspired by so many people. Julie E. Czerneda, of course, but also J. K. Rowling (the reason I decided to be a writer), Diane Duane (who has written sci-fi/fantasy which has taught me a more active morality -- kind of funny, considering her work's been boycotted by some Christians since she's an atheist), Jim Butcher (whose first person stuff is great)...actually at the moment those are all of the writers I can think of. But they're only a small portion of those who have kept me writing. My family deserves a mention. Corinne, with her witty cracks that I write down for use in later books, who has leant her nickname to a book I'll someday complete; Carissa, who will always read through what I've written (eventually) and be straight about what she thinks; Mom, for bringing me warm milk and feeding me (because if she didn't I'd die of starvation); and finally Dad, for telling me that science fiction is pointless and that I'll go nowhere with it yet still reading anything I hand him and giving me insightful commentary on it (I think the hating sf thing is more of a face now than a true belief).
And of course all of you, my friends. I'd name off everything you've done for me but I don't have the time left on the computer, so suffice it to say that you all have helped me in ways you probably don't even know. Thank you all.
Somehow, with my eyes closed, it seems a lot more interesting in here. When I open my eyes I'm subjected to the reality of everything. Conversations become clearer, more intrusive, tackling my consciousness and destroying my drive to write. With my eyes closed, I wasn't nearly as bothered by the world.
This, I think, is why I type: because I can't handwrite with my eyes shut, but typing, at home on my on computer, I don't have to have my eyes. Taking away one sense... I don't know if it really heightens all of the other senses, but I do know that for me it's a worthwhile experience.
And right now I am procrastinating, but I decided a long time ago that as long as I'm writing, I'm not procrastinating as much as I could be. Who knows when thought will come up that I initially find trivial but that later on becomes something important?
Which reminds me of something that I was thinking of yesterday. I want to write a story called "Happy Endings." One major character would be a man who writes stories prolifically but doesn't know how to make them end, and so he abandons them and starts new ones. He's never finished a story; he writes only beginnings. So he puts out an ad for someone willing to write the endings for his stories... I don't know what kind of story that would turn into but at the same time it would be interesting no matter what it evolved into. I want it to be pseudo-fantasy, I think, or at least not completely real...but who can say what is completely real and what isn't?
Changing topics slightly: I think that I'm feeling pretty good about my short story for Polaris. I had a bit of a hard time at it, but the story's now at slightly above 3000 words. I think that the rest of it will be a bit easier than the beginning. Granted, whether or not this is the case is a bit of a sketchy thing -- I won't be able to really tell until I'm done.
But I am fairly confident that I will be able to finish it, at least, and that's always a good thing. Not only do I think I'll finish it, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to finish it well. Then again (once again) I won't know until it's over.
In my writing I am inspired by so many people. Julie E. Czerneda, of course, but also J. K. Rowling (the reason I decided to be a writer), Diane Duane (who has written sci-fi/fantasy which has taught me a more active morality -- kind of funny, considering her work's been boycotted by some Christians since she's an atheist), Jim Butcher (whose first person stuff is great)...actually at the moment those are all of the writers I can think of. But they're only a small portion of those who have kept me writing. My family deserves a mention. Corinne, with her witty cracks that I write down for use in later books, who has leant her nickname to a book I'll someday complete; Carissa, who will always read through what I've written (eventually) and be straight about what she thinks; Mom, for bringing me warm milk and feeding me (because if she didn't I'd die of starvation); and finally Dad, for telling me that science fiction is pointless and that I'll go nowhere with it yet still reading anything I hand him and giving me insightful commentary on it (I think the hating sf thing is more of a face now than a true belief).
And of course all of you, my friends. I'd name off everything you've done for me but I don't have the time left on the computer, so suffice it to say that you all have helped me in ways you probably don't even know. Thank you all.