readingredhead: (Doctor What)
New Doctor Who. As I've only seen one episode it's totally possible that I will have to revoke this sentiment but something makes me doubt that, so here goes: Matt Smith has what it takes to make it. He's not David Tennant but he knows it and he's not trying to be. He's just being his own kind of Doctor and obviously having good fun with it. EDIT: Just watched second ep and while it doesn't make me like Matt Smith any more or less than I previously liked him, it does make me like Karen Gillan lots and lotses. I like that she's feisty and that it seems like, unlike previous companions, she's going to actually challenge the Doctor and argue with him and stuff. Not just sit there with puppy eyes when he's about to destroy the world and tell him to stop. I read an interview where Karen said Matt was like her annoying older brother, and I think that sort of shows in this ep, in a good way. Why do I have to be out of the country for the next one??

Torchwood. I have heard it is not on par with Doctor Who but seriously, John Barrowman. Need I say more? Also, awesome Welsh accents. I am seriously in love with the breadth and variety of British accents, and not just with that singular concept of "the British accent" (which almost always means the Oxford accent to Americans, including me before I lived here).

Changes by Jim Butcher. The most recent Dresden Files book, which just appeared in my mailbox and promises to be completely game-changing. I'm almost afraid to read it because I know I'll breeze through it in six hours and then be left waiting another year for the next one.

A Wizard of Mars by Diane Duane. The most recent Young Wizards book, which also just appeared in my mailbox in the same shipment from Amazon and is only the book I have been waiting for ALL MY LIFE. Seriously. It's been FIVE YEARS since the last YW release and I've waited oh so patiently. This is worse than waiting for Harry Potter because a) there are no movies and b) the fandom is much smaller, so there are fewer people to understand your pain (however, the small-but-dedicated fandom is generally one of the things I love about YW, so I shouldn't complain). I'm definitely afraid to read this one because I have no idea how long it'll be until the next one appears, and I do not know what I will do with myself in the meantime and with the waiting. This isn't like Jim Butcher where I know he'll pop out a book a year, no sweat (which allows me to read them so quickly when they come out). Diane Duane is meant to be savored, in slow but intense portions. I would almost say it has to be read casually, except there's nothing casual about it. In fact, I don't even remember what it's like to read one of her books for the first time anymore. The last time I had that experience, I had only just gotten a livejournal and certainly didn't blog about it. I just emphatically don't want it to be gone.

Preparation for spring break trip will probably take more time/effort/energy than I give it credit for. I mean, I'm gone for 16 days which I'm spending in 5 cities in 4 countries in 2 time zones (though only one continent this time). By the end of the month I'll have seen where the Thirty Years' War started, the Cold War (symbolically) ended, the great temple to Athena was built to command an entire city, a man named Freud revolutionized our perception of selfhood, and the small Greek island immortalized courtesy of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. It will be AMAZING. But try packing enough stuff for all of that in a small suitcase and you run into some issues (or at least I will...when I finally start packing the night before I leave).

Finally, it's sunny outside. Why in the world would I want to get things done when I could sit outside in the sunshine and just revel in the world being such a beautiful place?
readingredhead: (Default)
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Favorites, in no particular order, include:
Hermione Granger
Remus Lupin
Nita Callahan
Kit Rodriguez
Dairine Callahan
Roshaun
Tom Swale
Carl Romeo
Harry Dresden
Karrin Murphy
Thomas Raith
Michael Carpenter
Artemis Fowl
Holly Short
Dana Scully
Fox Mulder
Luke Skywalker
Leia Skywalker
Han Solo
Jane Eyre
Edward Rochester
Elizabeth Bennet
Fitzwilliam Darcy
Anne Shirley
Joshua Lyman
Aryl Sarc
Sira Morgan
Jason Morgan
Rael di Sarc
Enris Mendolar
Mackenzie Elizabeth Winifred Wright Connor, aka Mac
Nikolai Trojanowski

It's a rather interesting list. I have characters by J. K. Rowling (2), Jim Butcher (4), Julie E. Czerneda (7), L. M. Montgomery (1), Jane Austen (2), Charlotte Bronte (2), George Lucas (3), Chris Carter (2), Diane Duane (6), Eoin Colfer (2), and Aaron Sorkin (1).

Of course I am more in love with some of them than I am with others. I think if I had to make a top five list, I would probably die first. But since I don't have to, if I think really hard about narrowing it down, it's not so difficult. I don't just like characters for their similarities to me, or their entirely kickass abilities, or anything like that. Sometimes it's more about their depth and complexity.

For instance, take Elizabeth Bennet and Jane Eyre. I would rather be Elizabeth, but as a character I have a deeper admiration for Jane. Elizabeth's story is fun and witty, but Jane's is soul-wrenching.

It's not surprising to me that Julie's characters make up most of the list, since the thing that I love about her writing is her characterization, but if I had to pick one I liked the best it would be a tough call...all her leading ladies have captured a different part of my heart. Aryl, Sira, and Mac would be strong contenders for a spot on my top five, though if it came to an out-and-out battle, Aryl would win.

Scully's possibly the only non-literary character who could make my top five. I love the X-Files because of the depth and complexity of these characters despite the limitations of the medium (I always feel more for books than for TV). I have felt for Scully enough that I think she might deserve a place on the list.

Harry Dresden might be the only man to make the top five, but he really deservese to be there, simply because he is so kickass. Also, his voice is beautiful. There's an example of creator and creation in a fantastic working relationship.

Hm. So I think perhaps my top five, in no particular order, comes down to Hermione, Aryl, Dresden, Jane, and Scully.

And now I'm just rambling. There are far more characters who annoy me than there are characters that I like, so I think I'll stop this entry right now before I go absolutely crazy.
readingredhead: (Default)
Today, I was so disinterested in doing anything that I just lay down on my couch and fell asleep listening to the audiobook of Small Favor (read by James Marsters!). I hate that I have just royally wasted a day off.

Well, not entirely. I wrote a very, very tiny bit and have developed a sort of magic that revolves entirely around knitting. But it has not really manifested itself in the story yet, and I'm tapping my fingers and twiddling my thumbs waiting to get there.

(But seriously, I am proud of my knitting magic, so the day can't have been entirely wasted.)

Happy fourth!
readingredhead: (Light)
So my assignment for Monday's creative writing class is to bring in a single paragraph of published literature that I find true/real/loved. Here are the preliminary candidates (there are probably a lot of them, and the list will probably grow over time rather than shrink like I need it to). 

from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, by J. K. Rowling:

It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high.  Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew—and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents—that there was all the difference in the world.

from A Thousand Words for Stranger, by Julie E. Czerneda:

            Light fingers stroked my hair, investigating its new fullness.  I closed my eyes, not needing vision, feeling the living stuff quiver under Morgan’s touch, winding in soft whirls around his hand, slipping up his arm to whisper across his cheek.  “Sorceress,” Morgan growled out loud, but very quietly, his other hand buried deep in the hair at the back of my neck.

            How inevitable, that I should turn in his light hold to look up and see how his blue eyes darkened.  Inevitable, that my aching right hand should search out and grip his warmly in the welcome Yihtor had thought to force.  In answer to some echoing need of his own, Morgan’s mouth lost its smile, coming down to press with infinite gentleness on mine.  This was all there was, and should be, to life—a mutual comfort and excitement beyond any of my imaginings.


from Grave Peril by Jim Butcher:

            The door burst open.  Murphy came through it, her eyes living flames of azure blue, her hair a golden coronet around her.  She held a blazing sword in her hand and she shone so bright and beautiful and terrifying in her anger that it was hard to see.  The Sight, I realized, dimly.  I was seeing her for who she was.


from White Night by Jim Butcher:

            Each time, you come out of it a little stronger, and at some point you realize there are more flavors of pain than coffee.  There’s the little empty pain of leaving something behind—graduating, taking the next step forward, walking out of something familiar and safe into the unknown.  There’s the big, whirling pain of life upending all of your plans and expectatinos.  There’s the sharp little pains of failure, and the more obscure aches of successes that didn’t give you what you thought they would.  There are the vicious, stabbing pains of hopes being torn up.  The sweet little pains of finding others, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life as they grow and learn.  There’s the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand beside a wounded friend and help them bear their burdens.
            And if you’re very, very lucky, there are a few blazing hot little pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of utter perfection, an instant of triumph, or happiness, or mirth which at the same time cannot possibly last—and yet will remain with you for life.

from Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen:

“In vain I have struggled.  It will not do.  My feelings will not be repressed.  You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” —Mr. Darcy


from The Phantom of the Opera, by Gaston Leroux:

Poor, unhappy Erik!  Shall we pity him?  Shall we curse him?  He asked only to be “someone,” like everybody else.  But he was too ugly!  And he had to hide his genius or use it to play tricks with, when, with an ordinary face, he would have been one of the most distinguished of mankind!  He had a heart that could have held the empire of the world; and in the end he had to content himself with a cellar.  Surely we may pity the Opera ghost!


from Deep Wizardry, by Diane Duane:

What they saw was part of a disk four times the size of the moon as seen from Earth; and it seemed even bigger because of the Moon’s foreshortened horizon.  It was not the full Earth so familiar from pictures, but a waning crescent, streaked with cloud swirls and burning with a fierce green-blue radiance—a light with a depth, like the fire held in the heart of an opal.  That light banished the idea that blue and green were “cool” colors; one could have warmed one’s hands at that crescent.  The blackness to which it shaded was ever so faintly touched with silver—a disk more hinted at than seen; the new Earth in the old Earth’s arms.

Those are all of them at the moment, but ther e are certainly more books I need to look through to find the quotes in there that I'm missing from this list.  Most specifically, I need to look through: The Wizard's Dilemma and Wizard's Holiday by Diane Duane, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling.  Also, So You Want to Be a Wizard probably merits a look-through.  If there are any glaring omissions on my list, let me know.  Also, I'm curious -- which paragraph (or, in one or two cases, paragraphs) is the most true/real/loved for you?

readingredhead: (Stranger)
Last night...was good. When I got home around 11:30 I was tempted to turn on the computer and write up a journal entry right then, so that I could capture it in all its glory. But then I realized that nothing would do it justice. Really, as much as we may try to preserve things with photographs or with writing or with video, in the end these only serve as tools to jog the memory, so that only someone who lived through the experience can fully comprehend its wonder. That's kind of what yesterday was like. While it was being experienced, it was great. Now...it just feels odd, knowing that that was the last Humanities field trip of my life, and nothing like that will ever happen quite like that again.

It was good, but in retrospect it loses its color and life. As much as the past might be beautiful, in the end we have to continue to live in the present.

I don't know why I'm thinking about this so much. I don't need to. But maybe I do...yesterday was an odd day for me. There were moments when I felt like I belonged, and moments where I felt estranged, and most of these happened without me having a clue as to why.

Before we left for the field trip yesterday, Krucli was talking to us about the hero's journey. He gave examples from Star Wars, but those weren't the ones that stuck with me. What stuck was his use of us going off to college. And the stages of that journey corresponded perfectly with all that I know I've been through or will go through. And I admit that it scares me. It scares me to be leaving behind the kind of life I've always known. I want to continue having happiness I'm used to, even if life may only improve through change...

I don't know. I've been in a philosophical mood lately. I started this entry intending to describe what happened yesterday on the field trip. But looking back on it, I realize that the things I'd like to write about, the things I'd like to share with others, are those things I can't quite find words for. I'm trying, but I feel like someone fumbling for the light switch in the darkness.

I need to do something that will make me feel more myself. I need to write. After all, script frenzy started yesterday. I need to get the feel of the keys beneath my fingers again, and let that soothe me...

How do I feel right now?  I think that this works best:

"...growing up is all about getting hurt.  And then getting over it.  You hurt.  You recover.  You move on.  Odds are pretty good you're just going to get hurt again.  But each time, you learn something.

Each time, you come out of it a little stronger, and at some point you realize there are more flavors of pain than coffee.  There's the little empty pain of leaving something behind--graduating, taking the next step forward, walking out of something familiar and safe into the unknown.  There's the big, whirling pain of life upending all of your plans and expectatinos.  There's the sharp little pains of failure, and the more obscure aches of successes that didn't give you what you thought they would.  There are the vicious, stabbing pains of hopes being torn up.  The sweet little pains of finding others, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life as they grow and learn.  There's the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand beside a wounded friend and help them bear their burdens.

And if you're very, very lucky, there are a few blazing hot little pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of utter perfection, an instant of triumph, or happiness, or mirth which at the same time cannot possibly last--and yet will remain with you for life."

~From White Knight by Jim Butcher

I know I've posted this before, but it just seems such a good descriptor of how I feel.  These are the pains I've been feeling--and some of them hurt more than others.  The "big, whirling pain of life upending all of your plans and expectations" is what I felt when I didn't get into Stanford.  I've mercifully been spared the "sharp little pains of failure," but lately I've become mired in "the more obscure aches of successes that didn't give you what you thought they would."  Of course, the pain of loving others balances this out on some days, but it makes it worse on others--after all, empathy is a "steady pain" that's hard to ignore.

The final paragraph of that quote describes perfectly what I'd call the pain of impermanence.  It's one of the most beautiful, but also one of the hardest for me to reconcile myself to right now.  But I'm working on it--I don't see any other way.
readingredhead: (Burning)
I've been having trouble concentrating on anything, lately. They tell me this will go away eventually -- here's to hoping. I'm glad Spring Break is coming; I really need it, just to set my thoughts in order.

Who'd've thought college would still be hard once you got accepted? I feel like there are so many things I need to do just to be ready to show up there in September. Housing and course sign-ups are the least of it -- I feel like there's some mental preparation I need but I'm not getting.

I can't let myself quit yet, but boy, is that easier said than done. I need to gear up during break to pull myself through these last few months.

(Not to mention that there are more than just school things piling up around me, and I feel this insistent pressure to get them done, but it's not enough to make me actually do anything.)

But I read this today, and it made me feel a little better about my life.
  
Pain. )

Passion. )
readingredhead: (Stars)
Really really really not wanting to do homework right now!!! Especially because "homework" means writing a position paper for Berkeley MUN on sex trafficking. Yay?

Winter Formal was fun. Um...yeah. My feet died because I actually danced because they had a jazz band that played real music.

I'm tired and I have a runny nose. I've also been sneezing a lot.

On the bright side: I have a leather journal that I'm going to write in at some point, and I'm seeing Katherine later today. Now if I could only get done with the Berkeley papers and get on to the fun stuff!

Oh, and Dresden Files = awesomeness. And Katherine Fosso = awesomeness for talking to me about them for almost an hour. No ravens in this episode, but Bob was cool!

Sleepy...

Jan. 20th, 2007 05:44 pm
readingredhead: (Pants)
Definitely just took a three hour nap. Have accomplished nothing today, except for the lining of my pockets with some cash through tutoring. I don't have any finals to be afraid of, but it's apparent that other people do.

Fell asleep while trying to read chem chapter. I really should remember not to read chemistry while sitting on such a comfy couch...

Yeah. That's basically my day. I'm psyched for tomorrow because one of my favorite series of books, the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher, is being made into a tv series on SciFi channel. Premiers at nine, and I'll be glued to the screen. If I could steal one of Jim Butcher's writerly talents, it would be his ability to characterize through narration. That man writes the most amazing first person EVER! I'll confess to not liking his third person so much (he's got another series out that attempts it), but when he's good, he's really good. It makes me very happy.

And now I'm rambling. And sorta hungry. Maybe I should get food? Maybe I should try to finish the chemistry chapter? Maybe I should do something?

...nah.

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