in Life's name and for Life's sake

What I really need right now is way more time than I have.

Between today and the end of November, I HAVE to:

1. Study for my bio midterm (by Tuesday)
2. Finish my novel--all 25,000 remaining words of it (by Friday)
3. Spend ridiculous amounts of time with family

Between today and the end of November, I OUGHT to:

1. Finish the bio paper (4 pages)
2. Finish the English paper (6 pages)
3. Finish the biblical poetry paper (15 pages!)

Between today and the end of November, I WILL:

1. Not sleep.
2. Not procrastinate.
3. Not have nearly as much fun at home as I ought to.

Where's Christmas when you need it?

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In other, slightly more positive and life-affirming news... So my computer was out for repairs -- AGAIN -- but I got an e-mail yesterday saying it had been delivered back fixed, so I went to the mail room to pick it up. When I looked in my mailbox, I found the package slip I was expecting, but also a letter with the return address as the Berkeley English Department. I figured it might have something to do with the fact that I declared the major at the beginning of the school year; I thought that maybe they were sending me some documentation or something.

Instead, I open it up to see this:

Dear Candace,

I am happy to inform you that you are a recipient of the English Department's James Phelan Scholarship for the academic year 2008-09. This scholarship is awarded to outstanding English majors selected by our faculty who consider your work in the English Department to be of an exceptionally high caliber.

The scholarship's only $700 but I could care less about the money -- it's the fact that this award, decided upon by the English Department faculty, went to me, a sophomore who just declared the major in August! My professors, the ones that I respect and admire, think I'm worth something. It's a really, really nice feeling.

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Finally, because it looked so cool when Steph did it, here's my novel, Wordle-style:



And for last year's NaNo-novel, still in progress:

If you could have lunch with any famous person, either living or dead, whom would you choose and why? Describe your conversation at lunch.

William Shakespeare has long been considered one of the greatest playwrights and storytellers in western civilization, if not the world; his plays and sonnets have been performed, analyzed, and enjoyed by each new generation. But few of those who understood his greatness ever knew him. During his own time, while he did gain popular fame, it was not readily apparent that this one man from a small town in the British countryside would create such an astounding body of work that would continue to enthrall the world even after its creator had passed on. But beneath the fame, beneath the verse, beneath the genius, there must have been a man, and this is who I would like to meet.

In whatever limbo or netherworld where the dead and living can coexist for the short space of lunchtime, I would talk to Shakespeare about what works of his I know. I would tell him, if he didn’t already know, of his tremendous fame. And I would ask him questions. I would ask him how he managed to write so much so well in such a short period of time, but especially I would ask him how he managed to write characters who were so human. I have a feeling that he would shy from the praises, and humbly avow that he writes just like every other writer, from what he knows of the world around him. But I would continue to pressure him, because Shakespeare’s characters are the most compelling part of his plays, the things that make them come alive, and few people are able to replicate so well the interactions of mankind at his best and at his worst. If I could get him to answer that question, I think his answer would be one of the most valuable pieces of writing advice the world has ever received.

Though I would hate to have to bring this up, I would feel compelled to ask Shakespeare if he truly wrote his own work, for while I disbelieve the theories to the contrary, I would like proof, even if I was the only person who would believe in it. Despite what may be said of Shakespeare, and the “evidence” against his having written his own plays, I prefer the story that he was simply a genius among men, capable of rising from his humble background to become a man famous throughout the centuries.

But finally, and most importantly, I would like to meet him because I would like to be inspired. Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets have inspired the world since he wrote them, and they’re just his secondhand thoughts, dulled by the communicative medium. To hear such thoughts from him in person, it follows, would be even more inspirational. Lunch with Shakespeare wouldn’t just be lunch—it would be the experience of a lifetime. To be in the presence of such greatness, even for such a short time, would be immensely uplifting to the creative spirit within me. Hearing him speak, about nothing and everything, would have an immeasurable effect on my life, my dedication to art, and the awe I feel when presented with a model of the creative process done right. I don’t think I could go out on a lunch date with anyone better.

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At times it sounds incoherent and insincere, but it's only a first draft. Granted, I have to polish it up by the end of today so that I can get the whole scholarship thing in the mail, but I think I'll manage.

I'm working on a lot of things this weekend, but I'm also taking a lot of time off -- probably more than I can afford, but hey, it's my weekend, and when school rears its ugly head again I'll pay attention, I swear I will.

Basically did nothing so far today. Read through all the books for my history internal assessment paper, but I severely don't want to write it. I'm postponing my chem lab write-up until tomorrow, but I have to get it done then since Thursday after school is when I'm doing the actual lab. Which reminds me, I need to get some 3% hydrogen peroxide.

I would really like to read a book that draws me in and keeps me, but I've still got a chapter of Road to War left and some more stuff to fill out for scholarships. Maybe I'll get around to some Vonnegut, or to the historical sci-fi anthology I got at the library bookstore for a buck. But the truth is, I don't really want to do anything...and since I don't have to, I probably won't.

So far this weekend I've actually gotten things done. I had an interview with a Princeton alumna on Friday after school. She was pretty young -- maybe early twenties, definitely just graduated -- and I think it went pretty well. She was excited to hear that Jane Eyre was the most life-changing book of this past year for me, because she liked it, too. I liked her for that. I don't think I looked perfect, but I looked acceptable.

Yesterday...I don't even know what I did. Slept, mostly. Filled out scholarship stuff. Went to lunch and the movies with Rick, got home and did more scholarship stuff, then watched two movies with Corinne, one that made me cry and then one that made me laugh because I didn't want to go to bed crying. Today I did more scholarship stuff (this is becoming a trend) and went to church, then to the Spectrum with my family for lunch and a little shopping. I came home and got to work on my paper for Spanish, about Cuban science fiction, and it's already over the word minimum which is a good thing. I have more things to do, but that's the way it always goes. Overall, the long weekend is starting well -- I'm really glad I'm not at MUN.