I want a world in which there is no default sexuality—in fact, I want a world in which “sexuality” becomes an outdated word. I want a world in which when I meet a person, I don’t immediately assume that they’re straight, or gay, or anything; I want to think of people as people, who, when they love people, love them for their people-ness and do not allow things as puny as sex to restrict them. I don’t ever want to think that I’m better off as belonging to a majority, because it means that there are things that I don’t want to face, things that I would not know how to face if I were required to face them.
I think that in the future I am going to make a point of not allying myself with any sexuality. Let people assume what they want based upon the people with whom I am in relationships. But I am beginning to believe more and more each day in what I first heard this summer through a trusted friend: sexuality isn’t about the way the parts match up. We’re smart enough as people to find our pleasure where we will, regardless of whether such unions are biologically viable. Instead, it’s about the way the people match up. Why should we assume that love has anything to do with biology?
I’ve been more involved in the issue of marriage equality than I have been with any other single ballot issue this year, but now, I’m realizing that I still haven’t been active enough. If Proposition 8 passes, I will be extremely upset, but I will use that energy to do something. I will become involved. It doesn’t matter what my sexuality is: no one should be treated in the discriminatory manner in which homosexuals are treated.
There was a time unfortunately not too long ago when I would have been uncomfortable with people thinking I was gay. I would not have wanted anyone to question my sexuality, because I was not entirely sure myself what I thought about being gay. My own moral compass hadn’t quite settled on a direction yet, and while I wasn’t about to support legislation that would take away the rights of others, I also wasn’t sure if what some people were saying about homosexuality being morally wrong was something I believed. But now I have come to the realization that in the genetic lottery, it is just as possible that I could have been born gay as it is that anyone else I know could have been. And I would not think of myself as a lesser person for loving women instead of men. I would not want to live in a world that thinks less of me for anything that has to do with me showing my love for others, in whatever form. If love isn’t the point of living, I don’t know what is.
It’s a little late in the game to be talking about this now, but we’re not done yet. If Proposition 8 passes in California, it’s not the end. It’s only the beginning. And I know that I’ll be there fighting for equality of love in every way that I can for years to come, until everyone everywhere is in possession of this one fundamental right: the ability to walk down a street anywhere from Berkeley to Mission Viejo, in red states and in blue states, in America and out, holding hands with their loved ones without fear of sneers or retribution or heckling, without fear that any harm might come their way, with nothing in their hearts but the simple joy of feeling another’s touch and knowing that this is it, this is what we’ve all been waiting for, this is love.
This is my decision. Disagree if you like. Talk to me about it if you like. But please do not try to fight against love with hatred. It will never get you anywhere you want to be. I will not respond to baiting, and like-minded sensible people will not either.
And if you’re one of those like-minded, sensible people—help me spread this love. Work with me to make gay marriage legal all across the country and all throughout the world. Work with me to eliminate discrimination from our hearts and souls as well as from our laws. Work with me to make this world a place I’m proud to live in.
Work with me. Dream with me.
Love with me.
Together, we can change the world.