Run-ons...forgive me for the random post!

I feel like I need to write something profound right now.  I just finished my last IB test ever, and I won't think about them until next July when I get the results.  It's a glorious day, and I'm sitting in a beam of sunlight that pierces my window, and I'm feeling a breeze on the skin of my arms, and the sun is so bright and at such an angle that I have my eyes closed as I type this, because it would hurt to keep them open.  I love days like this.  

I think that a problem with my writing is that I feel like it has to have purpose.  Why do I worry about this?  Purpose is created, to a certain extent, within the reader -- and if there are people willing to read what I have to write, then I should write it.  Even if it's just something I want to write, I should write it.

But I'm torn between all of the many different things I could/should write right now.  (I should do my math homework, but let's rule out that option for a moment and focus on the really important things.)  For the first time in a long time, I feel like writing fanfiction.  Also, I have to write a poem for humanities for tomorrow.  Also, I need to plan out the characters that will belong to the script I'm going to write in June.

Part of me thinks I should probably just get the poem out of the way.  This is a good, logical idea.  But I'm not sure if I really want to do it...

I think I will, but just because I need to get back in the habit of poetry.  And of freewriting in general.

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( Poem )

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( X-Files fanfiction in progress... )

Oh! I almost forgot!

1. Beauty by Robin McKinley
2. The Coelura by Anne McCaffrey
3. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
4. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
5. An Assembly Such As This by Pamela Aidan
6. Duty and Desire by Pamela Aidan
7. These Three Remain by Pamela Aidan
8. A Wizard Alone by Diane Duane
9. Hamlet by William Shakespeare
10. Cameo Diner by Matt Miller
11. A Wizard Abroad by Diane Duane
12. Talking in the Dark by Billy Merrill
13. A Streetcar Named Desire by Tenessee Williams
14. A Thousand Words for Stranger by Julie E. Czerneda
15. Blood Wedding by Frederico Garcia Lorca
16. Man and Superman by George Bernard Shaw
17. Ties of Power by Julie E. Czerneda
18. The Road to Mecca by Athol Fugard
19. To Trade the Stars by Julie E. Czerneda
20. The Unhandsome Prince by John Moore
21. A Nameless Witch by A. Lee Martinez
22. The Ship Who Searched by Anne McCaffrey
23. Seducing the Demon: Writing for My Life by Erica Jong

At the moment, the authors I've read the most of this year are Pamela Aidan (3 books), Julie E. Czerneda (3), Diane Duane (2) and Anne McCaffrey (2).  What I find interesting about this is that, of the four, three make my list of Top 5 Authors.  And of the seven books I've read this year by those three authors, only one was a new read -- the others were re-reads.  I think this says something about the power of those writers -- I love their writing so much that I am willing to momentarily forego the pleasure of new writing in order to relish in what I've already read.

Granted, I'm a bit of a re-reader by nature.  Of the 23 books I've read so far this year, ten were re-reads.  But it appears that I at least re-read for myself -- only seven of the twenty-three were read for school, and I actually enjoyed all of those.  There are still a bunch of books I've started but not finished, the most prominent of those being Wuthering Heights, but I'll get around to it.  I have time.

(no subject)

Also: when I take the time aside to think about it, I am scared shitless at the idea that I hear back about getting a story published (again) and I can't stand the waiting. I apparently should hear some time at the end of this week, but that could change. For now I'm operating under the idea that no news is good news, because if my story totally sucked I would certainly have been told so already. And it takes longer than an anthology with just one editor, since both the editors need to read all of the stories submitted, and I'm sure there will be arguments over which ones should be included and which shouldn't, based upon the allegiances of the writers (which newbies were brought in by who). I hate it that all I can do is cross my fingers and wait. (Can you tell I'm not a patient person?) This is probably the worst part of writing: the waiting.

However, if I don't get published in this anthology, my next move is to seriously pursue publication elsewhere. I've never really done that before, but now I'm realizing that it's probably something I ought to look into. I've got great stories that just don't happen to fit the criteria for the anthologies I've been asked to write for. Yeah, there's always the possibility that something Julie asks me for will match "Fire and Ice" to a tee (for the record, if that happened I would immediately die of happiness), but in all likelihood that story will never be published unless I do it on my own.

(But dammit, I really don't want to be rejected! I understand the importance of the rejections, because they make sure that I don't get complacent, and I know that "Potential Energy" is a really crappy story when compared to my other work, but come on! Published!)