Burning Bright

[readingredhead]

I'm done with my senior thesis.

It's so weird, honestly. Because I'm not really done -- I believe in the idea that works of writing are never finished, only abandoned. But it's time for me to abandon this, and I'm ready. It's not a bad feeling, though it's different; if anything, it's a good one.

I didn't get to work too closely with Mr. Krucli on it, but I really appreciated his support throughout. He gave me the ideas and direction I needed. And (whether or not this was intentional on his part), his being my advisor has probably caused me to produce a much better paper than I would have otherwise, because I have taken this paper as a way to win his respect. If I'd had Mrs. McClure as my advisor, I don't think I would have worked at it so hard. I wouldn't have felt that same need to impress my reader. But I've wanted Mr. Krucli's respect, and to an extent I believe I have it. That makes me feel much better about myself than the simple fact that this paper is done.

I still have so many things to do today, and tomorrow. The world never stops. But sometimes, in the midst of the running around like headless chickens, good things happen. Writing this senior thesis and getting to talk it over with Mr. Krucli hasn't been torture. It hasn't even been difficult. It's been challenging, but it's also been exciting. I wouldn't mind writing critical approaches to literature. I actually enjoyed this, which is a very good thing.

Comments

[fallenrose24.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel, though not in terms of the senior thesis considering I don't have any respect for Mr. Trevino nor care to have his XD. Wanting the respect of Mrs. Faridpak has been a huge motivation for me in chemistry since I met her. It's one of the reasons I felt so proud of that A- in AP Chem and it's also one of the reasons I feel so bad when I don't do very well on a test or don't understand a concept.

All I have to say about that is if she didn't respect me before, she better now seeing as how today I ended up skinning part of my finger on a lab desk, was bleeding, and still managed to grade all those chem tests. XDDDDDD

I'm sure you have Mr. Krucli's respect. Someone with as much passion about writing as you have cannot go without respect, especially in the eyes of an English teacher.

[i-wear-wellies.livejournal.com]

Congrats! I think we're just more prone to notice the good stuff when things are a bit crazy.

Random thought: my uncle got chased around the yard by a headless chicken once... yeah, I grew up with good stories =P

[pentaverse.livejournal.com]

There are only a couple teachers whose respect I would like to think I have, as in your case. But I can't bring myself to go beyond for them. I hate to let them down, but... y'know, there just seems to be no motivation for me. (Hope I haven't disappointed you in that respect)

[marang.livejournal.com]

Interesting thoughts on the senior thesis (especially since Mr. McClure was my advisor). ...I ended up working to win his respect for YA fiction, not my writing. I think it partially worked. :)