readingredhead: (Light)
--read Absalom! Absalom!
--write Mrs. Dalloway response
--edit English notes

--edit short stories
--edit poetry
--pick poetry and short stories to submit for prizes

--plan November's novel

--study abroad course planning
--study abroad statement of purpose
--fill out annoying application-y things

--read Malia's story
--read Michele's story

Not die. Overall, not dying is always a good thing.

I'm still really enjoying life. Rebecca and I had a kick-off party for NaNoWriMo on Saturday and it kicked ass! People, like, actually showed up. And enjoyed themselves. OMG! :) It was nice getting praised today in the office for how well that went. It's good to be appreciated.

Also I'm looking for a hat to complete my Ingrid Bergman (Ilsa in Casablanca) costume that spontaneously appeared in my life in the form of a $16 vintage coat that is totally Casablanca. It makes me think of Mr. Vargish and therefore my life is improved.

Now I'm just trying not to do things. So I'm going to go do things instead. Hopefully I'll have the chance to post one more my-life-is-going-to-hell-and-you-should-join-me-there entry before November begins, but if not...may the insanity ensue!
readingredhead: (Default)
Oh my god. I have been working on decal-related things FOR MORE THAN TWELVE HOURS. I went to a decal facilitator workshop at noon and Natalie and Danica are STILL HERE working on putting together a course reader.

And I still have homework tomorrow. Shit.

*dies*
readingredhead: (Default)
I just has this odd rush of anxiety -- you know, the kind that builds up suddenly in your stomach and you're looking around you to figure out why it happened -- and I'm almost positive there was something specific that I was feeling anxious about, but the feeling vanished almost immediately and now I have no clue what it was! None at all! All I've got is this lingering back-of-the-head feeling (except it's in my stomach) that there's something I ought to be doing now that I'm not, something big that I'm missing.

Let's just hope that something big decides to expose itself before I mess something up.

In other news, I'm having issues with two classes: Shakespeare because the professor is so boring I want to die a little every time I go to his class, and Russian history because for the first time in a long time, although the prof is amazing and presents the material in an enjoyable way, I may not want to put in the effort it takes to get the A. This is not a problem in the Shakespeare class; it may be boring as hell but I got great grades on the first paper and the midterm. But for Russian history, the only grades are the midterm and final. I got an A- on the midterm, which covered much less than the final and is only worth 40% of my grade.

I understand this is nothing to worry about because 1) the lowest I will realistically get in the class is a B and 2) in the real world people get B's all the time, but I'm psycho and that's just the way these things happen for me.

Other than that, I'm stuck somewhere in creative limbo. I've been revising short stories for too long, I need to write something original. Also I need to read. I have five new books that just came in the mail, all with varying degrees of awesome, but I have so much homework-y stuff to do that I've promised myself I won't start in on them until after dinner on Sunday.

The weeks since the end of Spring Break have just been flying by...and I'm sad that the semester is ending. I don't know if I want to spend my whole summer back in marvelous socal suburbia. I've caught the Berkeley bug, but now it's too late to look into getting a job and housing to stay up here over the summer. If I'd thought about it earlier -- okay, let's be realistic, if I'd realized earlier that the things that were tying me to home were not going to be there by the time summer came around -- I could've gotten an internship or something and stayed up here. But now I'm applying to jobs back home. Menial stuff really. I'd love to get hired at the Borders just so I could work with all those books, and I'm also applying to be a library page. We'll see how that goes. Either way, I've got an excruciatingly free summer.

And yes, it's also basically too late to think about summer school classes.

I never thought I would be sitting here and wishing that I didn't have to go home for the summer. I thought I would love this place, but I don't know if I ever realized I would love it as much as (or more than) "home."
readingredhead: (Burning)
--more ID terms for Russian history
--pgs. 277-364 in Russian history reader
--read chapter 11 of Russian history textbook
--re-read Danica's short story and type up critique
--re-read Sonja's short story and type up critique
--finish writing tutor application
--choose short story #2 to submit for Clarion
--edit "Cold War, Cold World"
--submit Clarion application
--pick poems to submit to Berkeley Poetry Review (max. 4)
--submit poetry to Berkeley Poetry Review
--start brainstorming Chaucer paper topics
--read Hamlet again
--Chaucer reading for Monday
--cultural history of Russia timeline
--read Elizabeth's short story

I guess this means I got things done today.  I spent a few hours studying Russian history this morning with a woman from my class and got some stuff done, though now I've also got a lot more things to do.  We decided we'd go through the IDs early and we're doing a lot of preparation for things like the essays.  I'm meeting with her again Wednesday morning and we'll see how it goes from there.

Major list cross-off is that I finally figured what story I'm going to submit for Clarion along with "Fire and Ice."  Of course it's the one I was so certain I was least likely to send, but after I re-read "Cold War, Cold World" for the first time in I'm not sure how long, I realized that I like it.  It's rough in places but it's the easiest to patch over the course of the next week.  I can tell you a billion things that are wrong with it but hopefully people will get too caught up in the story to really care.  (Let's just say I'm glad I can't take this into my fiction class to get workshopped -- they'd rip it into small, predictable pieces.)

I've (of course and as usual) got other things to do.  I'm halfway through Hamlet again and it makes me think of Mr. Krucli.  I sent him an e-mail the other day to let him know how helpful his class has been for me.  Seriously, he's the reason why I'm making it through my Shakespeare class this semester.  Or at least one of the reasons.

I leave you on this note: A Knight's Tale (the movie) is so much funnier when you've read Chaucer.

Okay so I lied and I'm not needing you.  I need a better title for "Cold War, Cold World" and also anyone who feels they have enough time to read it between now and Tuesday to give me suggestions on what to fix should e-mail / comment / call so that I can send you the newest copy.  That's all.
readingredhead: (Stranger)
I’ve decided to apply for the Clarion workshop for sci-fi and fantasy writers. This means a lot of things. First, that there’s a good chance I’m insane. But second, and more importantly, that I need to submit two short stories as the bulk of my application. They have to be under 6,000 words each, which at the moment seems to be the hardest part for me, as two of my favorite short stories are significantly longer than this. I’m going to work with all of the stories I have on hand that even remotely fulfill the sff genre requirement.
 
This is the part where I ask for your help. Because first I have to pick the two stories that I’m going to focus on, and then I have to work with them, and in both of those stages I could really use a few (more than a few!) readers to provide me with feedback. I can’t underemphasize how important this is—how big an opportunity the Clarion workshop is. This is very close to being a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
 
So how can you help? What I’d like for you to do, if you think you have the time to help me, is this. I know a lot of you have had my stories foisted upon you at one point or another. In a comment, tell me if you’ve read any of the following stories, and if there are any you’d particularly like to read. I’ll e-mail you stories you’re interested in, and you can read them and get them back to me as soon as possible—the deadline to submit an application is March 1. Also, if you have recommendations for which two I should focus on, that would be great.
 
Here’s a list of the stories that are under consideration for this, with synopses and a few of my own personal thoughts about what their strengths or weaknesses in relation to this application might be.
 
Staring Into Space
Synopsis: A young girl, Mikra, loves science fiction and longs for the stars but lives in a world where spaceflight has been given up as a waste of time and money. When Mikra finds herself in a first contact situation, however, she is presented with a unique opportunity to remind more than one species of the role that science fiction plays in encouraging scientific discovery.
Strengths: It’s a good sociological science fiction story that, I feel, has a lot to say about what I think about sf and what it can accomplish.
Weaknesses: It’s the first short story I ever wrote, and as such it feels a little immature to me. I’ve since revised it, but it’s still got a bit of that youthful naïveté to it. Whether this is a bad thing to anyone other than myself, I don’t know. Also, as a personal pet peeve, it changes POV two-thirds of the way through. I still haven’t found a way to tell the story effectively without the POV shift, but that’s physical evidence of what I’d call the immaturity of this story.
 
The Free Way
Synopsis: Steph is a normal high school girl who hates the torment she endures daily in her PE class. Seemingly by chance during one of her classes, she discovers an entrance into an odd alternate world that she initially finds accommodating, but whose restrictions become more apparent over time. Eventually she realizes that she wants to leave this mock-world behind, but it’s a harder job than she’s bargained for.
Strengths: I think this story has a lot to say for the way I think about fantasy as a genre. It’s a lot closer to magical realism than true fantasy, and I like that about it. It involves normal people who end up in the middle of something approximating an adventure, which is my favorite aspect of fantasy.
Weaknesses: It needs a complete rewrite. It was the second short story I ever wrote, and it’s almost completely the opposite of “Staring Into Space”: it’s long-winded and expansive with its descriptions where it probably doesn’t need to be. Also, it’s about 9,000 words long and would be a bitch to condense.
 
Cold War, Cold World
Synopsis: A discovery of militarily valuable material in Antarctica results in several scientists being held hostage. A crack military intelligence team is developed in order to retrieve the hostages, using the newfound material to aid them. This is all part of an ongoing war between a unified American bloc and an Asian bloc jockeying for power over control of polar resources. Told from the POV of Jorge Álvarez, a private with a knack for making things work who gets recruited to the intel team for his mechanical knowledge.
Strengths: It’s a more mainstream sci-fi piece than “Staring Into Space,” and a little more mature and complex as far as its plot goes.
Weaknesses: I just never really fell in love with it. It’s alright, but I don’t feel like there’s anything spectacular about it. Also, it’s not based on very strong science, and I feel like there’s a reason that my first attempt at hard sf didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped. (Also, as a personal pet peeve, I don’t like the title.)
 
Fire and Ice
Synopsis: Told from the first-person POV of Aleska, a young woman in an isolated arctic society, this is a story of religious fanaticism taken too far. The settlement is governed by the Keepers of the Sacred Flame which the people worship, but the Keepers have been abusing their power to destroy any evidence of outsiders, including the isolation of anyone who questions their teachings (such as Aleska’s older brother).
Strengths: I finished “Cold War, Cold World” and then began on this immediately. To tell the truth, I fell in love with this story while I should have been ramping up the romance with “Cold War, Cold World.” And I think it shows. It’s complex, it shows rich worldbuilding abilities, and it’s really rather enthralling, if I do say so myself. My first major story about religious indoctrination and intolerance.
Weaknesses: It’s not quite science fiction or fantasy. In my head it’s sf because there’s a larger story behind the events of the plot as they’re understood by the main character and her society, but this doesn’t get revealed to the reader within the context of the short story. Also, it clocks in at around 7,500 words, and while it would be easier to slim this down than “The Free Way,” I feel like I’d have to lose more.
 
Potential Energy
Synopsis: Set in ancient Alexandria, it’s the story of a small group of elektromancers, people who can control electricity. Leading this group is Hypatia, who must alternately train new talent in the form of a young and foolhardy man named Lysander, and keep their shared powers a secret from the city’s growing Christian community that sees elektromancers as heretics. When Hypatia exposes her abilities in order to save a life, the repercussions are further-reaching than she expects.
Strengths: I’m more in love with this than I thought I would be. There are parts of it that I honestly enjoy, most specifically the characters and the concept of elektromancy. I think it’s a strong and unique fantasy story that would give a good sense that I’m capable of breaking out of the swords-and-sorcery box that so many young fantasy writers find themselves stuck within.
Weaknesses: The prose style seems pretty minimalist—get the job done and get out. There’s no beautiful language, no turns of phrase that still ring through my head, not even a single scene that I find immensely stirring or compelling. It doesn’t have low points as a story, but I’m not sure it has high points, either.

Just so we’re clear, when I say I’ll love you forever if you help me with this, I mean it.  People like Neil Gaiman are going to be teachers at this thing!  Eighteen students are accepted, and I really think that I can be one of them, but it’ll mean a lot of work, and the more people I can get to help me with this, the better.  

Well, now I’m off to dig up old contact lists of everyone I ever knew to ask them to help me with this!
readingredhead: (Stars)
I know I haven't updated in a while, but that's because I've been wonderfully busy. What with writing novels, writing papers, reading books, etc. it's been a busy month.

I spent the weekend at my roommate's house. She lives in Mountain View, CA, which is maybe an hour drive south of Berkeley, right near Stanford. While there, I did almost nothing productive, but I did watch maybe six movies and write a lot and go ice skating for the first time ever.

The novel is going rather well in terms of both wordcount and content. My main character just met the man she's going to fall in love with, although she doesn't know that yet! The Write-a-Thon is this Saturday, so I'll be busy at work trying to get everything together for that.

My second and final short story of the semester is due tomorrow, and this project is much less ambitious. The first story was 20 pages; this one is 7, and it wasn't written from scratch.  It's actually a rewrite of something from sophomore year. Nonetheless, I feel like I've put enough energy into it that it reads well. It's below the cut, if you'd like to read it (see, it's even short enough to fit in an LJ entry). 


I'll be coming home for Thanksgiving, but I expect my weekend to be quite busy.  Though I'm not sure, at the moment I think that Friday might be my freest day but I can't promise anything.  Call me and we'll figure things out because I do want to see all of you.
readingredhead: (Rain)
Well, I finished my first draft of my short story.  I havnen't really done much revision, and I don't know if I'll have a chance to before I have to print it out tonight, but at least it feels like something I'm okay with turning in.  It's too long to post on LJ, but if you send me an e-mail at readingredhead07@yahoo.com, I'll send you a copy.  Don't worry about reading it and getting back to me before tonight; in all likelihood I won't have much revision time anyway.

I'm cold, because as a punishment for not writing I opened all the windows and took off my sweatshirt and my socks.  There's something about numb toes that encourages me to get moving!  But, since I'm done, I can put those socks back on and curl up in a warm blanket for the rest of my homework. 

I'm doing pretty well, all things considered.  Thanks to everyone who commented on my last post; I wasn't in the best mood when I wrote it, but I'm feeling much better now!  

Another acknowledgement goes to Rebecca, whose infinitely more comfortable computer chair I have apprehended for the process of writing the last part of this story.

Also, a thing about letters: I'm sorry but I haven't had time to write or send any for a while.  I have letters written to Luke and Richard, but they keep getting returned to me.  I haven't written a response to Katherine or Corinne yet.  I probably won't until sometime next week.  My history midterm is a week from today, and while I'm not really worried, I do want to feel as prepared as possible.  I don't see any reason why I shoudn't ace this with flying colors.  But, this means no updates (or more infrequent ones) for a while.

Final item of business: I raised the $200 I needed to go to the Write-a-Thon in San Francisco.  I'm really excited about that.  I skipped work today to write the short story but I'm going in tomorrow morning and I really still love being there.
readingredhead: (Red Pen)
The more I think about it, the more I realize that I really could be published.  I look around and often I try to look for reasons why I couldn't be, but there will always be more of those if I go looking for them.  I need to stop looking for them, because by trying to find them I make them exist for me.

So I'm going to make a list here of all of the short stories that I've started, finished, or even just thought about and catalog my progress with them.  I'm going to try to update the list and post it at least once a month, to remind myself what I've done and what I have yet to do.  Posting it in a public forum makes it even more likely that I'll take action on it.

The Arena
Summary: In a future world, wars have become so destructive that nations have agreed to decide all military disputes through combat in a giant arena, complete with set rules and regulations to govern the battle.
Status: Incomplete/On Hiatus
Words written: 597
Words planned: 0
Potential markets: science fiction magazines (I don't know any specific ones)
Comments: This probably won't get tackled unless I get a major brainwave.  I've had this sitting around for years and it's going nowhere...I just sat down and wrote the beginning and then stopped.

Cold War, Cold World
Summary: A discovery of militarily valuable material in Antarctica results in several scientists being held hostage.  A crack military inteligence team is developed in order to retrieve the hostages, using the newfound material to aid them.
Status: Complete but in need of editing
Words written: 4,895
Words planned: 0/NA
Potential markets: any science fiction magazines...I'd like to try Analog and Asimov's but I don't know how likely it is that I'd get it published there because I don't think its the kind of sf they're looking for.
Comments: written for Julie E. Czerneda's Polaris anthology...I don't like it all that much, and I'll probably only do surface-level editing -- I'm not about to mess with the plot, even though it could probably benefit from that

The Damsel and the Dictator
Summary: When a PR stunt gone wrong gives a dictator a bad name, he must apologize to the woman he wronged.
Status: In progress
Words written: 3,086
Words planned: 0
Potential markets: no idea...it's humorous fiction, but it's not fantasy or sci-fi
Comments: I started it as a joke but I really like the idea.  I'll probably continue it even if only to say that I finished it.

The Dragon's Tale
Summary: An old dragon looks back on his life and the knights and ladies that have stood out as being somehow different from the others.
Status: Complete but might require editing
Words written: 2,450
Words planned: 0/NA
Potential markets: fantasy magazines
Comments: It's short and I find it interesting, but it's also rather ordinary, I'm afraid.  If I could somehow make it different, it might be worth getting published.

Fire and Ice
Summary: (This is really hard to summarize.)  A young woman in an isolated Arctic society must come to terms with the settlement's religious authority and decide for herself if she feels that the exile of her older brother for his disbelief was justified.
Status: Complete and ready to send off
Words written: 8,059
Words planned: a lot (I might extend it into a novel)
Potential markets: This is where I run into a problem.  It's not sci-fi or fantasy in the conventional sense -- if anything it's plain old fiction, or possibly dystopia.  I'll try to sell it to the usual suspects, but I'm afraid no one will want it.
Comments: I love this story.  It is absolutely amazing.  And I've put so much time and effort into it that it had better go places.

The Free Way
Summary: Steph just wanted to be free of her PE class, but when her wish is granted, she gets more than she bargained for.
Status: Complete, possibly in need of editing but not much
Words written: 9,306
Words planned: 502/NA
Potential markets: anything that'll accept fantasy or magical realism
Comments: I really like this and I think I have a good chance of someone wanting this.  After I finish fixing up "Fire and Ice," this is next on my list.

The Key
Summary: When Chris's grandfather dies and leaves his grandson with a mysterious key, Chris searches his old family home for the answer to what it unlocks.
Status: Incomplete/On Hiatus
Words written: 2,224
Words planned: 0
Potential markets: I have no idea.  I don't even know what the key opens yet.
Comments: I don't think I'm ever going to complete this.  But I put it on this list on the off chance that I do.

Paradisio
Summary: When an old love attempts to reenter her life, a dissillusioned bartender thinks back on the choices she's made and whether or not she likes the person she has become since he left her.
Status: Complete, but in need of editing
Words written: 2,482
Words planned: 0/NA
Potential markets: no idea...it's very different from what I usually write
Comments: I like this story, but I have no idea where it belongs.  I list it because I like the idea of it more than I know it's worth.

Potential Energy
Summary: In an ancient Alexandria stewing in intolerance, a librarian works to teach a young man to control his powers over electricity before he is discovered and killed for his differences.
Status: Complete but in need of editing...though unlikely to be edited any time soon because looking at it still makes me nauseous.
Words written: 4,982
Words planned: Too many to count
Potential markets: fantasy magazines
Comments: written for Julie E. Czerneda's anthology entitled Ages of Wonder; made the top five but didn't get published

Purgatorio
Summary: A college student studying abroad deals with the repercussions this has had on his relationship with a girl back home.
Status: Complete, probably needs editing
Words written: 2,142
Words planned: 0
Potential markets: No idea
Comments: a quasi companion piece to "Paradisio" that makes sense only in my head.  Probably not all that publishable.

Staring Into Space
Summary: A young girl who makes first contact with an alien race learns that they have much more in common than she initially expected -- including the literature of science fiction.
Status: Complete, but probably in need of some severe revision
Words written: 4,966
Words planned: 0/NA
Potential markets: sci-fi magazines...hopefully Asimov's and Analog, but it's not very hard sf so it might not be welcomed there
Comments: I really like it but I need to work on it so it's not cliche.  It's basically the first short story I ever wrote.

Untitled Dragon Story
Summary: A dragon with little to live for befriends a young girl when her home is destroyed and her parents are killed in a fire the dragon caused.
Status: In Progress
Words written: 2,127
Words planned: 0
Potential markets: Fantasy mags
Comments: I just realized as I was writing the summary that it would be so much more poignant if the dragon was the cause of the fire.  Up until two seconds ago, that wasn't a part of the plot at all.
readingredhead: (Default)
Heh. So these past few weeks have been ridiculously busy, what with all of the usual, and yet at the same time ridiculously boring, with nothing of worth to report or record (at least, in retrospect, nothing I can remember). But for the sake of keeping this journal slightly up-to-date, I update.

Is it a bad thing that, at the end of the previous sentence, I had a strong urge to go off on all of the derivations of the word "update"? In a Handmaid's Tale sort of way? Maybe that's understandable since I just finished the book yesterday and I just finished the questions on it a few minutes ago. I thought it was really good...and really weird...and really good. Also, not nearly as dirty as I'd expected it to be. Honestly, I didn't think it was that bad. A bunch of the concepts were, I'll give you that, but the actual writing always made any of the more disgusting ideas into something rote and mechanical. I think that the part of the story that had me the most disturbed was when, right before the narrator and her family were going to run away and leave Gilead, they realized they had to do something about the cat, and Luke "took care of it." For some reason that really disturbed me. I think it was because of how it showed someone who seemed completely normal doing something that felt extreme, not because of choice, but because it was necessary -- it was behavior caused by the governmental regime that the people had to suffer under.

Anyway, now that I have that out of my head, I guess I have a little news. My aunt is here for a few days, because it's my grandpa's 70th birthday this weekend and she and a bunch of other relatives flew in to surprise him (she lives in Florida, she's my mother's sister). She makes the house a lot louder. As soon as she woke up, there was noise, and she even came in and asked me, jokingly, why our house was so quiet! She's just one of those people who is always loud, if not verbally, then in other ways. But it's nice to have her around; she's always smiling.

Really, I can't think of anything else that's going on. I have an IB math project which I haven't really started due on Tuesday, but I'm trying to get all my weekend homework out of the way so that I can spend all day Saturday on it.

Also, I realize that I want to still keep thinking up ideas for my short story for Polaris, so that's something I'll hopefully have time for at some point in the future. Maybe next weekend? I don't know; I just like having a story in my head for a while before I have to give it away. It doesn't necessarily have to have been sitting there, fully finished, for a while -- I just have to have been working on it and with it for a while. For instance, my favorite short story that I wrote is definitely "The Free Way," which I started last April (I wrote maybe the first two pages and set out characters) and then didn't finish until the beginning of July. I also revised it recently, fixed up a few small details and edited for clarity, before submitting it to Stanford as my sample work on the application to do their summer program. It must have been good enough, because I got in! I'm really looking forward to that, as well -- it should be one heck of an experience.

We always say we're "looking forward" -- maybe part of my problem, part of my stress, is that only by extrapolating into the future can I ensure myself a time of calm and peace, promise that there is a light at the end of this foggy grayness. Maybe if I could managed to bring some of that light here and now, it would be easier for me to get through all I have to do. But at the same time, my habits have been set and are hard to break, and I still get everything done, and there still is a light up ahead, so I don't think it's something I need to worry about.

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